is your porn name spiritual? it is if you say so!

Veronica Danielle LaPorte Johnson. That’s my full name.
I've always been called Danielle, because apparently my mother couldn't bear the thought of someone shouting out "Hey Vickeeey!" to me. "Johnson" came with my man. In high school, while obsessed with Lynda Evans' should pads in Dynasty, I considered changing my name to something more swellegant like, Victoria DuBonnet. Glad that phase passed.


NAME CHANGERS
Did you know that Ram Dass is really Richard Alpern? The new age guru-ette, Gangaji is really Catherine, named by her guru Sri Ramana Maharshi. Hell, even Eckhart Tolle changed his name from Ulrich to Eckhart.

I'm all for declaring your own moniker. In fact, I think more people should have the kahunas to change their names if they don't feel an affinity with what they were given. Yet, when I hear a dreamy new age name, my antennae lean forward. Why'd you change your name? Who gave you that to you...and why'd you agree take it?

Can you be enlightened and just be called, like, Joe Smith? "Joe Smith...all-knowing sage and metaphysician." I like it.

HOT GODDESS BABALICIOUS...IT'S GOTTA RING TO IT
I once took part in a talking circle of about forty hoity toity agents of change - a few economic profs, some United Nations delegates, a film maker, and some do-gooding millionaires. We gathered at a retreat center in the Catskills to talk about globalism and spirituality.

It was time for introductions. One person started the ball rolling by including their “spiritual name” in their introduction. “Hi, I’m Chris. My spiritual name is Winter Bear.” Next. “Hello, I’m Sarah. My spiritual name is Shakti, it means 'the manifest power that creates the universe'." And so it went. I was amazed. Carl had been named Ashok by his meditation master. Wendy had changed her name to Grace. About half the group had a name that a guru or elder or they themselves had bestowed upon them.

I was last to go. Would Hot Goddess Babalicious, qualify as my spiritual name? When my then-fiancee used it, I sure felt ascended. Uh...what about my Porn Star name? "Jessie Wyandotte" (your first pet's name + first street you lived on). Posh Spice was taken. I had to think fast...

All eyes on me. “I’m Danielle LaPorte. And my spiritual name is...
Danielle LaPorte.”

Roars of laughter. Whooping howls of relief. There we were, a consortium of brainiacs and dignitaries laughing so hard we were snortling and knee slapping. It was a damn fine moment in my comedic history. And my identity-crafting.

SPIRITUAL IS WHAT YOU SAY IT IS
If it comes from the heart, I say deem it divine. Be your own authority. Spirituality isn't something that is sanctioned, it is something that is felt -- deeply. Christen yourself. Call it the way you feel it.

I don't want to be "Dances With Wolves" or "Suri-ji-ji." I don't need anyone else to define my greatness with something exotic and new. And I admit, my folks had the good sense not to name me Gertrude or something hyphenated, but I love the idea of working with what I've been given. It's honest and efficient. It holds me accountable. And for me, it doesn't get more spiritual than that.

RESOURCES
Charming piece on interviewing Ram Dass on the Huffington Post

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