confessions of an ambitious girl

Before we go any further with this white hot endeavor, I need to make a declaration: I’m tired of trying to get somewhere other than where I am.

Book sales. Subscribers. Site traffic. Facebook. Twitter. Converting "users" into revenue, and revenue into a lifestyle, and a lifestyle into something that resembles my version of success so that I can feel fulfilled, and then feel worthy of feeling fulfilled.

Fehck.

Last year I released a book, fielded a few calls from Oprah producers, tipped $500k in capital-raised for the company I co-founded, watched our site traffic climb, and then, I...chose...this.

This is new. And if I play by the old rules then it would be just a cryin' shame. Way less than white hot truth. Way.

I’m re-prioritizing my metrics. {Note: I am a chronically ambitious girl, so this takes some real doing.} Deep breath.

Here and now: I do what I do to ennoble the stumbling, soaring, seemingly universal craving to love and be loved. And it feels like electrified honey-making. I jam with entrepreneurs because it makes me feel incredibly, intensely useful. {I love to feel useful, always have.} My husband deserves a holiday and a place to build his first canoe, so I do what I do to bring home the coin. And that feels sexy. When my son was born I decided to live life as an artist so that I could look him in the eye and tell him to be true to himself. And that feels like the essence of dignity.

I know how to sell out. There are plenty of formulas for it. I could drive hard to win your affection and Google ranking. And I want it, I most certainly do. I mean, I’m not writing to hear myself think and no one has ever heard of a poor philanthropist. But before I get where I'm going I'd like to be truly here.

So give me a witness. Here's the plan: feeling that electric honey-making feeling, intensely useful, sexy, and dignified are now THE guiding measurables. Foremost. Tops.

The web stats, the scores, the deals...still very much on the list. Positively in their place. Right after feeling great.

Thank you for listening. Now, back to you:

Why do you do what you do?

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