time management

the suck factor of life balance, + passion as a cure to stress

I no sooner want to be balanced than I want to be a “good” girl. “Balance” is not something I want to live down to.
- me

If consensus is overrated, I think balance is too. I have no interest in living
a balanced life. I want a life of adventure.
- Chris Guillebeau

In the end, the quest for balance is bogus. Love your burdens. Love them hard. And when your loves knock you down or your weak ankles trip you up, stop worrying about balancing – ‘cuz you’re not – and bounce.
- Kelly Diels

Life balance. Low fat cheese. Walking shoes. Small talk.
Life balance. The term makes me feel bloated and late for my own party.
Life balance. Stressful.

The pursuit of balance makes us juggle. It puts us behind (always behind,) makes us guilty, neglectful, imbalanced. It’s as useful a concept as original sin. You can never get it right.

If you want to do great things, striving for balance is a losing game. I don't think remarkable artists, scientists, activists, entrepreneurs, or generous souls set out on their giving journeys with the aim to be measured and harmonious. Meeting your potential is inherently full of tension (creative tension.) Trying to be balanced about it is onerous and futile.

Fuhget about it. Put balance on pause and feel into…

The out-of-whackness of your life – gigs, kids, commitments, projects. It’s a lot. Yes, indeed it is.
The passion in your cells - to eat life whole, to innovate, to score, to, as Emerson put it, “leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition.”

Feel into….
The hunger to fill the hole in your soul – doesn’t matter how it got there - if it’s there, it’s there.
The aspirations that show up as dreams or strategies.
The curves of your drive.

[HOLD FOR THE PUNCHLINE:]
If you’re alive, ambitious, or depressed; inventive, in the lead, or rapturous – you are imbalanced. The off-kiltering of your life may make you gasp – in grief or in glory. You could be on the leading edge of your consciousness - thriving. You could be a total mess. Things may need to be put in proper order. Loved ones. Goals. Your well being. Your mental clutter. Your blood pressure. Your Mastercard statement. But...

[THIS IS THE PUNCHLINE:]
Getting "balanced" is not the remedy to stress.

Passion is.

I burn a lot of omlettes. It's a regular occurrence - I'm drawing robots with my kid, I'm jotting down an idea I don't want to lose, I'm taking the call. And then the smoke alarms goes off. I "work" on holidays. Last Monday I stayed in bed and read all day. I send birthday gifts three months early or three months late - but it's just the right gift. I can eat cereal every day for a week, wearing the same clothes, never leaving the house because I want to finish a book. I like last minute trips out of town and not answering email for days. The last time I was at a monastery, I tweeted about it.

This is not a balanced life. But it works. And the more I pursue my passions, the more uncomplicated my life gets, actually. There's not much in my life that I resent. And if resentment builds, I'm swift to get it off my plate. It's not the imbalance-ness that stresses me, it's doing meaningless things that aren't taking me where I want to go.

MOTHERS + CEOs
When we talk about the whole life balance issue, working mothers are central to the conversation. How does the screw-life-balance-and-go-for-passion theory apply when you're juggling P 'n L's and macaroni 'n cheese? It's about an overall proportion in your life, not perfection. It's a work hard / play hard equation. It's about draining your reserves and filling them up again with precious moments or a stolen day. You give give give give give and give some more, and then you get. It's a wonky equation - creating works of art always is - but if you don't stress about how you "should do it", you can create the best way to do it.

When passion is a priority - passion for family, vocation, for meaning - your energy intensifies. And when your energy is more focused, more, "aimed", you begin to care less about the things that don't really matter. You avoid crappy jobs, you stop over-controlling your kids, you nag and complain much less - with everyone. You get the help you need to pull off the important things - whether you're a CEO or an aspiring freelancer, and that support takes the form of a house cleaner, a VA, or a friend or mentor to jam with.

REFUSE TO BE BALANCED
When you refuse the banality of balance and go for full on life (which includes full on productivity and full on stillness,) you'll see the inevitable mess of it all as something more beautiful and purposeful - full of peaks and valleys - an adventure. The climb can be rigorous, grueling sometimes, but the air is cleaner, and the view will blow your mind. The fruit you'll find on your own tilted path is so much sweeter - and there's so much more of it to share.

 

the stop doing list via live tv

View the segment: STOP DOING Lists ... Mark Kelley and I talk it up this week.

 

what’s on your stop doing list?

I'm starting to map out my creativity intentions for 2010. (I prefer not to use the word "plan" - seems so flat. "Intentions" feels fused with both direction and moxy.) Much is swirling in my DNA. Three new books...maybe five. Concepts with roots. Roots growing concepts. Streams of coin, streams of giving... And white space. Mostly white space - can never seem to get enough of it.

If I'm to realize my intentions, what I stop doing is just as important as what I start and continue to do. Stopping = the white space. Stopping = room to run free and create from the deepest place of being without restraint or compromise. Stopping = more time for what matters most.

I know how to go, go, go. Stopping, I've learned is the stuff of mastery.

Master Jim Collins sums it up brilliantly in this USA Today article. He brings forward three profoundly simple questions from Darwin Smith CEO Kimberly-Clark, which became the foundation of the Hedgehog Concept:

1) What are you deeply passionate about?
2) What are you are genetically encoded for — what activities do you feel just "made to do"?
3) What makes economic sense — what can you make a living at?

If your answers to what you're doing come up no, no, and no to these questions - then stop doing it. Shut 'er down. Take it off your plate. Let it die. Cease. And exhale a sigh of relief. You can move with more velocity toward your dreams.

Look back on this year and get very clear about what sucked. What didn't work, got mired with resentment, felt onerous, weighed you deadly down? A note on resentment: you can't continue to do things you fully resent and think they're going to transform into enjoyable activities over time. It just doesn't work that way. Think of resentment as a blaring, mega-watt STOP sign. And stop.

WHAT'S YOUR STOP DOING LIST? Here's mine for 2010:

1. No red eyes flights. Ever. Never worth it.
2. I will not leave Twitter, Facebook and Gmail open while I write. I need blocks of two to three hours to think clearly and craft that clarity into something useful. Writing is a "yes!" to all three of the questions.
3. No schlepping my old book to speaking gigs to sell. Forget it. I pay for extra luggage, I cuss at my suitcase as I'm heaving it up escalators. And besides, since I left my last company, I don't make a cent off of the book (because I signed the copyright over to the incorporation.) See questions 2 and 3: I'm not passionate about it. I can't make a living at it.
4. I will continue to lovingly decline requests for on-going coaching. I'm a Strategist. Capital S on that. I do my very best work around creativity and entrepreneurship, facing forward, thinking big while being ruthlessly pragmatic. I'm not great at untangling things that happened yesterday. See question 2. I'm just not made for it.
5. I will not pursue a conventional publishing deal for my next project. I will fly higher, faster, on my own for the next round. Innovate or die.
6. I'll stop answering business-related email on weekends. I've thought of putting "I don't work weekends" in my e-signature, but that'd be just obnoxious.

All of the above activities only serve to make me busier, or put me out of the zone of my true strengths. (And you know how I feel about busy-ness.) Stopping what's distracting, draining, or aggravating you doesn't require any heavy lifting or stamina. Just love and self respect.

So seriously, consider this a poll. WHAT WILL YOU STOP DOING FOR 2010? What ACTIVITIES are coming OFF your to-do list? What will create more space when you get it off your plate? This will be the topic for my CBC TV segment this week and I'm trolling for your chutzpah and boundary-championing.

xo
Danielle

 

the upside of procrastination

Click here to view my Connect with Mark Kelly segment for this week on time management and why we should leave space to meander.

 

3 simple questions to simplify success

1. What do you do (that gives you joy, because why bother if it doesn’t bring you joy)?
2. Who cares about what you do?
3. How do you get to who cares?

That's it - three essential, monumental questions for every entrepreneur. Whether you’re a hairstylist or a blogger, a lawyer or a widget seller, it’s the simplest questions that will illuminate the way. I’ve been using this inquiry strategy for years to build businesses and it never fails to light up what the top priorities are.

Like most simple things, you have to examine each question from every angle to fully glean its elegance and power. No matter what stage of growth your company is in, the answers to these questions should drive your daily actions.

Let’s use a hairstylist for example. {I happen to think hair stylists are seriously powerful citizens. You want to firmly plant an idea in the minds of thousands of people? Tell a hairdresser. He or she has the rapt attention of dozens of people a week. Salons are hotbeds of news and inspiration.} Back to success...

ROLE PLAY WITH A HAIR STYLIST

YOUR PRODUCTS + SERVICES. Most entrepreneurs actually “do” more than they perceive. Examine the benefits and the unintended positive consequences of what you give or make. Look for the deeper meaning of the result of your work.

1. What do you do (that gives you joy)?
Stylist says: “I cut hair.”
Me: No, really, what do you do?
Stylist: “I make people feel beautiful.”
Me: Uh huh. You’re getting it.
Stylist: “I’m a healer who happens to give highlights.”
Me: If you say so, then BINGO!

YOUR MARKET. Pay careful attention to who you actually attract ... how do the people who buy your services or use your content/product see the world, what do they read, where do they shop, who do they listen to, what are their values?

2. Who cares about what you do?
Stylist: “Humans with hair.”
Me: Could you be more specific?
Stylist: “Women...People who want to look great...Women between 20 and 50 who want the best possible cut and colour for under $100 ... and like to talk about personal growth and baking.”
Me: Excellent. That is YOUR market. And the only market you need to care about is your own.

MARKETING TO YOUR MARKET. Effectively accessing your audience means that you’re reaching as much of your market with the least amount of effort. Quality + Quantity + Leverage. Repeat that to yourself before you spending a dime on marketing. Look for leverage points, vocalizers, mavens, influencers to spread the word for you ... from the right trade show or celebrity, to the local socialite or class president.

3. How do you access who cares?
Stylist: “With business cards and an ad in the yellow pages.”
Me: Is that how the majority of YOUR market comes to you?
Stylist: “I get my very best clients by word of mouth referrals.”
Me: Whose word brings you YOUR market?
Stylist: “Becky the Realtor tells everyone. Janice is a total maven, she’s sent me at least ten clients. And Josie with the bakery and the flaming red bob ... she’s so well connected.”
Me: Great. Give them each a free hair cut and a stack of business cards.

The formula for success is usually so simple it takes some time to really see it. The answers may take a while to find. Keep peeling back the layers until you come to the most elegant truth. Because the truth is what works. Simple.

. . . . . . . . .

check out the business books I dig the most

 

follow up to the copyright bullshit experience

Many of you asked me to update you on the outcome from my post: copyright, bullshit, and good manners, whereby I explained the kooky-litigious letter I received from the Strategic Coach, Inc. intellectual property lady, asking me to remove my article that extolled the values of Dan Sullivan's Entrepreneurial Time Management system.

Well, I heard from them, pronto ronto. And the response was impressively clear, direct, and believably sincere. An excerpt:

"Yikes, we certainly messed up on this one! I just read your blog post, "copyright, bullshit, and good manners," forwarded to us by one of our clients. I have to say I felt queasy reading it because your comments are right on the mark and these are things we know well. Before going any further, I want to say what should have been said in the first place: Thank you for the wonderful and entertaining post you wrote on "entrepreneurial time management: how i rock it"! We really appreciate you sharing your experience with this concept and how it's helped you, and especially linking back to the original source on our website and providing proper attribution."

When you screw up: tell the truth and tell it fast. Go direct. Admit to your faux pas poo poo and lay on the goodness. The entire letter was clear and thoughtful, they sent me a copy of The Dan Sullivan Question: Ask it and transform anyone's life. Flowers would have been nice, but books are good.

Even in between the first weird/nasty letter arrived and the nice follow up mea culpa letter from the bigger boss lady, I continued to tell my Fire Starter clients who asked about productivity tricks about Dan's Entrepreneurial Time Management System. A good product is a good product. Even smart companies make stupid mistakes. As my friend Donna says, we're just all bozos on the same bus. Any good coach will tell you that.

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RELATED

entrepreneurial time management: how i rock it

what it means to forgive

how to apologize

sorry? only say it if you mean it

 

the power of less to get more done

I’m obsessed with the essential. “We don’t need it,” “Get rid of it,” and “No thank you,” are guiding mantras ‘round my household. But I’m suspect of time management gurus, especially ones who espouse simplicity as a way of life and who are successful. Success breeds complexity. {Do you really think Tim Ferris, author of the bestseller, The 4 Hour Work Week works only 4 hours a week?} Simplicity and traditional success are a tricky combo. The masters of it are exceptions. They are also chilled, prosperous and rarely in a rush.

Leo Babauta is in no rush. Why hurry when you know what’s most important?

His new book, The Power Of Less, is an easy breezy read on “the fine art of limiting yourself to the essential...in business and in life.”

MY 4 FAVOURITE REMINDERS FROM THE POWER OF LESS:

1. Let your life be ruled by the moment. {Huh, is this a productivity book I’m reading?} Don’t schedule most appointments. If someone requests an appointment, tell them to call you a little before they’d like to meet and if you’re available, then meet.

2. If you aren’t finding yourself passionate about a certain tasks, allow yourself to move on to something you’re more passionate about. The more passionate you are about a task or project, the more energy you’ll put into it, and the better you’ll do with it.

3. Create a simple projects list ... just three projects, not ten, that will have your entire focus until you see them through to completion. The other projects on your list go on the “On The Deck List.”

Leo is a big proponent of email checking restraints. His suggestion, like that of Tim Ferris’, is to set email times ... check it once in the morning, and check it once in the afternoon. Leo admits that this is not as easy as it sounds. His answer is deceptively simple:

4. Every time you find yourself habitually switching to e-mail, stop yourself. Breathe. And then focus on your work instead. Your reward: you get a lot more done.

Got the itch to Twitter or check in on your Facebook friends in the middle of a looming deadline? Breathe. The itch will pass and your fans will love you all the more when you tweet. I breathe a lot.

Many productivity books have a drill sergeant running between the lines. Panic! So much to do to organize all that I have to do. The Power of Less is a sweet exception to that. Babauta’s energy is gentle and kind. No whistles. No drills. Just a zen-like understanding of what it takes to honour what's essential.

RESOURCES + RELATED
: Leo is the the man behind the wildly popular ZenHabits.net
: Entrepreneurial Time Management: How I Rock It

 

entrepreneurial time management: how i rock it

There’s so much that I want to do this lifetime: take my boys to India and Morocco; write the next bestseller; hang with people who make me laugh my ass off and make me think. So naturally, I’m interested in being both uber productive and deeply fulfilled.

I’ve tried every day timer. I’ve trained with Covey himself. My Blackberry is synced with my universe. My get-stuff-done-system is a mix of systems. But, by far the greatest booster to my productivity has been the Entrepreneurial Time Management system, created by Dan Sullivan.

I stumbled across an article last year, and it was a Eureka! moment. And now I just do it, almost religiously, simply.

WORKING THE ENTREPRENEURIAL TIME MANAGEMENT SYSTEM

FREE DAYS: LET IT ROLL
Weekends are footloose...play, party, veg, nest. Sullivan suggests taking 100 free days a year, including your holidays and vacations. {How civilized!} I try to hold Sundays as extra sacred, which means no computer, some devotional reading, extra snuggles, phone calls to the oldies.

TWO BUFFER DAYS: NIGGLIES + PURE FUN
Monday is my “niggly buffer day.” (You can make your buffer days any day of the week.) Buffer days are for loose ends, and for preparing for “focus days.” This is when I return emails; deal with tech bugs and social media updating; I make appointments and pay bills. On my Monday buffer day, I do the stuff that feels like it’s getting in the way when I want to do the Important Stuff that makes me happy and makes me money. (more...)

 

your 5 creative things for the year

I’d love to paint this year, on large canvasses. I’d also like to build a tree house. And re-pierce my nose. And design a line of post cards. And throw a summer party with a local Mexican trio playing. And paint big wooden signs to attach on the stop sign at each end of my street that say, “Go slow, kids we love at play.”

But I probably won’t -- because, I’ve filled my life with other things that I want to do equally, or more.

What 5 creative things would you be thrilled to accomplish this year? Define “creative” in any way you like ... from quilting to money-management. “Just five” seems to make everything easy, doable, bite size and freeing.

My 5 creative to-do’s for the year:
1. Write my next book: White Hot Truth. {Okay, that’s a colossal one. If I accomplish that and nothing else, I'd be feeling pretty spiff.}
2. Reupholster my Danish couch. Easy breezy. It’s a square box.
3. Get my next tattoo {the I Ching symbol for Inner Truth.} Can’t wait.
4. Send birthday cards to everyone, on time.
5. Do a planter of Chicks 'n Hens for the porch. Water it this time.

Declare your creative desires. Here. Now. Just five.

 

positive procrastination: getting stuff done, intuitively

I relish a good organizational system as much as creative freedom. The answer for me (and maybe for you) is structured flow.

FLOW BABY, FLOW

1. Positive procrastination...all timing is divine ... all of it. I’m not a procrastinator, by any stretch. But my habit of “holding off” on certain things used to confuse me, since I’m such a wham-shazam activator on most things. I finally realized my seeming neglect of some things actually was a deeper inkling of right timing. If something didn’t really “feel” like a priority (despite logic and deadlines,) it probably needed to wait on my clear will or that of providence. I am always amazed at what can happen when you wait: things often take care of them selves or conditions improve in ways that make doing what needs to be so much more effective. (more...)