inspiration + spirituality articles

your permission slip from the universe

I've got the Goddess of Permission on speed dial and she was thrilled to oblige with this sweeping list of acts of self expression and liberation. We can draw on it whenever we need. Come back often. Build on it. The Permission Goddess sends kisses and high-fives.

you have permission to

: not finish reading books that you're not really enjoying. Don't force it, close it.
: walk out of movies that suck (and hey, if you leave in the first twenty minutes, you can get your money back.)
: let it go to voicemail (especially during dinner, or snuggling, or watching So You Think You Can Dance?)
: give birthday gifts anytime of the year (which means you can be late or early and you can give yourself time to find just the right gift.)
: talk shit about WalMart (even if they do have the economic power of a small country.)
: cut the obligations cords that are driven by guilt.***
: pursue your own agenda.
: own next to nothing, live on a mattress, read and write and make love all day with no other responsibilities***
: return crappy products to their crappy manufacturers (because you can vote with your dollars.)
: leave your current business model so you can go do something bigger than you***
: tell your kids when you think that something an authority figure told them is bullshit (you need to be in solidarity with your child, not the so-called grown ups.)
: quit your job, even if you just started two weeks ago, or just got a raise, or are seemingly indispensable.
: get yourself off even, if you have a partner.
: have some secrets.
: cut out the elements of your business that you don't totally LOVE. The parts that 90% of the time make you say, "WHY am I doing this? I don't WANT to do this." ***
: give away/recycle/get rid of stuff, stuff, stuff sentimental stuff that special people gave you (your home is for you, not them); stuff that doesn't make you feel good even, if you spent a lot of money on it; stuff that has intense memories attached to it; stuff!
: say no to "free" stuff, like swag bags at fancy events and novelty erasers and pom-pom pens from the bank. (Because the only thing in life that's free is love.)

you have permission to

: fail, and fail again.
: to succeed, wildly, more than your neighbours, more than your folks, more than you thought was possible.
: be rich and "spiritual"
: be broke AND generous
: leave work early, get some ice cream, and sit in the hot tub at the gym***
: charge what you're worth***
: focus more on creating your soul job and less on finding a ho' job.***
: sleep! sleep in, nap, sleep.
: earn a living knitting for charity.***
: relax. To let go of the growing to-do list in your head. To release the need to get it "just right."***
: to dance.
: go bra-less or underwear free.
: give it all to charity.
: check your email whenever the hell you want.
: start now, without the degree, without the funding, without knowing exactly where you're going.
: sell your house to afford a big trip to India (a friend of mine did just that, no regrets.)
: walk away.
: fall in love.
: eat dessert first.

you have permission to
: not ever feel the need for permission.***

PS...The Goddess of Compassion, Quan Yin, also emailed me. She and The G' of Permish are a rad' team when they ride together. Quan Yin just wanted me to make sure she gets repp'ed in the mix: quit responsibly, say Fuck off with compassion in your heart, liberate with love, and cut clean when you need to use your sword. And when you can, do what you say you're going to do, or announce when you can't with deftness and care.

And then Ms. Permissive emailed me to say she gives you permission to whatever, however, because ultimately, it's all progress. I asked the Deities to take their debate off-line. Your liberation isn't their business anyway.

*** = permission requests. click on the asterisks to see who has been granted extra-special permission.

. . . . . . . .
ANNOUNCEMENTS, ANNOUNCEMENTS!

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MARIE FORELO'S B-SCHOOL
Registration for B-School closes this Thursday, August 19. Here's why I'm recommending it whole heartedly.

 

making space for creative credo

My palms are a bit sweaty. I'm taking deep breaths. I feel a bit misty, and, I'm smiling. This is a monumental decision for a bloggity being like me…here goes:

I'm putting the comment function on WhiteHotTruth out to pasture.
Comments are hereby closed.
Gulp. Sigh. Namaste.

I need to heed my own creative credo:
1. Keep it pointed to where you want it to go.
2. Pay close attention to your creative fantasies.
3. Keep it lean and keep it clean.
4. Art involves risk.
5. Form informs feeling.

1. Keep it pointed to where you want it to go.

If we've had a beer or walked the Sea Wall together (I know, only two of my friends are putting their hands up - I'm reclusive,) then you've heard me say, "All I want to do is write and speak. Write and speak. Write and speak." Pretty clear. For flavour, I've been adding in, "You know, I just wanna work like Hunter S. Thompson, but without all the bad drugs. Or guns. Or ex-wives. Or..." Okay, the point is, I neeeed to Write and Speak.

And live -- and living means making up stories with my six-year-old magic boy. And eating fresh food with friends. And interviewing Rabbis and Lamas and waiters about the nature of desire...So that I have more stuff to write and speak about.

When people start calling you a "power blogger" (I love the label, don't stop, seriously,) you're tempted to think that power = blogging. And it can. You just need to keep your eye on your real power source, or you get all fancy and you start wearing sunglasses when you sit down at the computer.

And here's the thing with being "in touch" with thousands of people everyday: it can fuck with your head, not in a Howard Hughes go-looney kind of way, but in a "there are a whole lotta of people in my living room, and my bed, and my car-kind of way." You see, I THINK about YOU a LOT. I want to be the best damn hostess on the Internet. I want everyone to know that I read every word that is sent my way. I want to be loved, darling, loved!

Which brings me to…

2. Pay close attention to your creative fantasies.

I've been romanticizing the old days of authorship. You bled on typewriter keys, couriered your six inch-high stack of manuscript papers to your editor; and your book came out four years later. If someone wanted to send you love letters or hate mail, they wrote to your publisher, and your publisher asked you if you wanted your mail forwarded to you that year.

That Jurassic and gruelling process is everything I work counter to. I take publishing into my own hands and ship my art ASAP. Howevah...this imagery (I can even smell the dusty dust of old paperbacks, and the ink of typewriter ribbon,) has been surfacing in my thoughts these past weeks and it's telling me to make the space I need to create more.

If I have more psychic space, I can write more, and write mo' better. And THAT's where I want my vocation to go. All good things (like affluence) will come from honouring that core desire. (Quicky clarity on that: affluence = fluid ideas + influencing positive happenings + cash flow.)

3. Keep it lean and keep it clean.

I was reading the Communicatrix's latest newsletter (Colleen Wainwright slams down the wisdom on a monthly basis and I take in every word.) "Everyone now knows that social-media creep is just as dangerous as TV-creep..." And she advises us to "review your landscape, trim your reel...so I we can be…100% available to the moment."

And then it hit me: Let go. More. Which is scary, but…

4. Art involves risk.

Seth doesn't have blog comments. Havi doesn't even do email. When Leo at Zen Habits asked some of his blog-migos what we thought about him closing comments on his site, I was like, "Dude, 'Zen' connotes comment–free, you need to let go and let it flow." But it's different when it comes your turn to "burn down the barn so you can see the moon" as the poet, Masahide put it.

You start fretting about people calling you a narcissist (wouldn't be the first time I've been misunderstood,) or your readership plummeting (which, uh, couldn't possibly happen because my material is just going to get HOTTER…promise,) and about being lonely (I still have those two friends to drink beer and walk the sea wall with.)

And…I worry that my new artistic format might come across as ungrateful. And that would suck hard, because I am so deeply, madly, appreciative of every heart that clicks my way and gives some extra meaning to all of this. The value of being recognized as useful cannot be overstated.

5. Form informs feeling.

I want to foster a quality of spaciousness here. Like sitting around a campfire, under a big sky. We need room in order to hear, to be with our thoughts. We banter and converse and show up enough "out there," don't we?

I pray that the new spaciousness is appreciated, even savored. Like a paperback book that you can hold close for a few minutes while you make your way through the world.

Ever true and always grateful,

 

depression vs. sadness: the power of mincing words

"When you're depressed, nothing matters. When you're sad, everything does."
- Gloria Steinem, via @spiver, aka Susan Spiver, author of The Wisdom of a Broken Heart

"So you're feeling a sense of hopelessness," the therapist said to me.
"No, I'm feeling despair," I clarified.
"Same thing. You're feeling hopeless," she came back.
"Nooo, I don't feel it's hopeless, I'm experiencing despair. I feel disheartened, but there's still hope here," I said.
"Hope and despair are pretty similar," she said.
"Look it up." I shrugged. "I'm going with despair."

(We didn't last too long as therapist/patient.)

I relish in semantics ("the meaning, or an interpretation of the meaning, of a word.") The more you know about the true definition of a word, the more powerful it is when you speak it. Precision is power.

Depressed and Sad are two very powerful, similar, misappropriated words. Portal words. Sacred words. And if we look more closely at them, we can claim what's true for ourselves and set about transforming depression and sadness into their contrasting states.

Sadness hurts but it signals that you are very, very much alive.
Depression may be the cousin of sadness, sometimes the defended response to unyielding sadness, but it makes you feel anything but alive. It dulls, weighs, and messes with your memory of your true essential nature -- which is that of joy.

I've been through wrenching heart breaks. I've left a decade-long relationship that is still intertwined with my DNA; been devastated by betrayal in business; said goodbye to overseas love that was doomed from the magical start. I've cried those guttural cries that dying animals make, I've canceled meetings because grief caught me off guard en route. I moved arthritically, lugging my heart in a wagon, to get groceries and tend to life on the surface. And through it all, I've felt undeniably, and intensely alive. And this, this is sadness. Acute, sometimes enduring, but always sensory and evocative, sadness.

When you're sad, you're feeling. Sometimes, more than you want to. You wish you could be despondent, but the sadness is sharp and it bleeds your attention from you.

Depression -- a term our med-happy nation uses much too glibly -- dulls one's feelings. Where sadness makes you feel raw and skinless, depression is like wearing a snow suit and mittens and wondering why you can't feel the caress of life. Sadness strips you. As I was just reminded, "Sadness is so f--king cleansing." Depression is muddy and muffling and numbing.

Depression vs. Sadness
Each comes with different gifts, challenges and assignments
Each is a sacred state. Both divine and brutal.
But not the same.
When you respect the difference, you're closer to the cure.

. . . . . . .

INTERVIEW
"If you could give any piece of advice for someone that feels stuck, what would it be?" READ ON AT Pure-Habitat.com

 

THE secret to success. this is IT. for reals.

In one form or another, I've been asked this question a few hundred times:

What's the secret to success?

Variations:
What's the single most important thing you've learned on your journey?
What's your key piece of advice for meaningful livelihood?
What's the greatest cause of failure? How do we overcome fear?
What's your pearl of wisdom for getting unstuck?

Here it is. You heard it here first, lovahs.

The secret to success:

No need to read any further really.

If we all just did what we said we're going to do, we'd experience an evolutionary leap in consciousness more brilliant than solar power and the invention of the wheel. But in case we slip, here's a bit of bolstering...

Do what you say you're going to do.

NO: rounding up what you say, no blowing it off, assuming that they'll forget what you said, hoping that they didn't really hear you, or believing that it's kosher to let it slide. Letting it slide is a slippery slope that leads to sleepless nights and eroded integrity which all adds up to a whole lot of yuck.

Aim for impeccable. There's a great scene in Jerry McGuire, where one of the Zig Ziglar-like "mentor guys" in a polyester suit says in his heavy southern accent, "If I don't return yer call in 24 hours, well, you can rest assured that I am dead." I want that guy on my team.

Mean it. You can ask my home girl, Steph, to go mountain climbing, hook you up with the Mayor, and meet you back for a cold beer all in the same day, and what you'll hear is, "DONE!" She says "DONE!" a lot. At first I didn't know if it was like, a tic, or a truth. But guess what, she gets a lot done -- everything that she says she will.

"Call you tomorrow" ... "I'll send you the link" ... "I'll do my best." If you don't mean it with heart and precision, then just don't say it. Pause. Say thank you. Express an intention. Say nothing. Habitual convo-filler is bad for the environment. I can't scientifically prove it, but empty promises suck wind.

Of course you can't always do what you said you would. Minds change and some prerogatives need their exercise. Batteries die, tragedies happen, the best intentions can get rained out. When you can't or choose not to honour your word, then say so.

Tell the truth, tell it fast, deliver it with sincerity and care.

Words are arrows.
Aim.
You can't always hit the impeccability bull's eye, but even if you're off a smidge, your words will land on integrity.

. . . . . . .

INTERVIEWS

Kira Zuma at the Mathematics of Glamor asked me who my heroes were...when I was 8. READ HERE.

Laura at The Journal of Cultural Conversation and I talked about vocational karma. READ HERE.

 

the manifesto of encouragement

right now:

There are Tibetan Buddhist monks in a temple in the Himalayas endlessly reciting mantras for the cessation of your suffering and for the flourishing of your happiness.

Someone you haven't met yet is already dreaming of adoring you.

Someone is writing a book that you will read in the next two years that will change how you look at life.

Nuns in the Alps are in endless vigil, praying for the Holy Spirit to alight the hearts of all of God's children.

A farmer is looking at his organic crops and whispering, "nourish them."

Someone wants to kiss you, to hold you, to make tea for you. Someone is willing to lend you money, wants to know what your favourite food is, and treat you to a movie. Someone in your orbit has something immensely valuable to give you -- for free.

Something is being invented this year that will change how your generation lives, communicates, heals and passes on.

The next great song is being rehearsed.

Thousands of people are in yoga classes right now intentionally sending light out from their heart chakras and wrapping it around the earth.

Millions of children are assuming that everything is amazing and will always be that way.

Someone is in profound pain, and a few months from now, they'll be thriving like never before. They just can't see it from where they're at.

Someone who is craving to be partnered, to be acknowledged, to ARRIVE, will get precisely what they want -- and even more. And because that gift will be so fantastical in it's reach and sweetness, it will quite magically alter their memory of angsty longing and render it all "So worth the wait."

Someone has recently cracked open their joyous, genuine nature because they did the hard work of hauling years of oppression off of their psyche -- this luminous juju is floating in the ether, and is accessible to you.

Someone just this second wished for world peace, in earnest.

Someone is fighting the fight so that you don't have to.

Some civil servant is making sure that you get your mail, and your garbage is picked up, that the trains are running on time, and that you are generally safe. Someone is dedicating their days to protecting your civil liberties and clean drinking water.

Someone is regaining their sanity. Someone is coming back from the dead. Someone is genuinely forgiving the seemingly unforgivable. Someone is curing the incurable.

You. Me. Some. One. Now.

. . . . . . .

So...Why do you want what you want?
Get THE AUTHENTIC DREAMING WORKSHEET
when you subscribe to WhiteHotTruth.com.
Go to the upper right box, next to me smiling...at you.

xo

 

building trust and other tactical bullshit that you probably don’t need

I was on my way to a speaking gig in Austin, Texas. The taxi driver picked me up from the hotel so naturally he asked me if I was in town for business. "Sure am." I said. Then he asked what I did. (A question that always makes me sigh heavily inside. I teach people about the importance of having a "cocktail line," so lest I be a hypocrite, I have a smooth one liner that I can pull out at parties. This is NOT it:)

"I write, and I speak...on stage...n' stuff." (Severely LAME intro, my Fire Starter Sessions readers would be aghast.) "You're taking me to my gig tonight, actually."

"What do you talk about?" asked Bert.

"About being yourself," said I, Mademoiselle Motivational Speaker.

Silence. He was doing the math.

"Ain't it kind of sad that you gotta talk to people about being themselves?" asked Bert, thinking nothing of it. I laughed. Like, slapped my legged and threw back my head laughing. It was just the kind of relief that's sweet before you're about to go on stage in heels that will expire in precisely 2 hours.

"Yeah, it's sad. But if everyone were authentic, I'd be out of a gig, Bert. Some people need what I got. And if not, well I'm always good for a few jokes."
We laughed, together.

HAWKING WISDOM, AND BUYING IT
As a professional, I prey pray on the conundrums of the human condition. I get to polish my halo because we're all such fucked up, curious, perfectly beautiful messes. Cha-ching. I tell people things that are primary to some ears, and YES! revolutionary to other hearts.

As a peddler of stuff that goes into the collective field of consciousness, I'm responsible to wonder: Do you really NEED what I've got? I don't want to load the cultural landfill with useless know-what-ness.

Try this. The next time you walk into a bookstore, or stumble upon a seemingly helpful blog, or lean in to hear a theory from someone supposedly wiser or more trained than you, just ask yourself:
DO I REALLY NEED THIS?

When you ask yourself if you really need what someone is selling (from flip flops to life philosophy,) you start to rattle the trance-inducing phenomena of "popular," "pretty," "bestselling," "certified," "ordained," et cetera-rah-blah-blah-blah.

There are books that hit the NYTimes Bestseller list that are about the merits of being nice to people in business. About how, (hold on, this is breakthrough theorizing:) taking an active interest in people can help you build better relationships in the workplace; why asking people about their personal lives before a meeting can make them feel like they're part of team. (Wow. Is that like, statistically proven?)

Do you really need a blog to tell you how to...be nice?

And now there's a plethora of material about building trust, as if trust is a precious mineral that only some gifted folk know how to mine.

Do you really need a book to tell you how to...be trust-worthy?
Here, I'll tell you in one sentence and you can skip all those books: be yourself on a regular basis and don't tell lies. It's worked well for a lot of people I know. Renegades.

DO I REALLY NEED THIS?

It's such a fog-cutting, wake-you-up kind of question. It activates your smarty pants brain chemicals, it safeguards you like a big brother looking after you on the first day of school. "Do I really need this?" saves you cash money. (WalMart might consider this article propaganda.)

So when the blogger or the Buddhist or the Motivational Speaker in heels tells you the answer to your problem, maybe you don't really need that answer. You have your very own.

Take my word for it.

. . . . . . . . .


PROUD SELF PROMO, (NOT SO SUBTLY POSITIONED AT THE END OF AN ARTICLE ABOUT BUYING/NOT BUYING WISDOM):

"The Fire Starter Sessions is a huge gift to anyone who is an entrepreneur, is thinking about becoming an entrepreneur or might one day entertain the possibility of maybe becoming an entrepreneur. Danielle helps you light a fire that is truly your own sacred flame. She delivers on every level: smarts, guidance, authenticity, deep wisdom, intuition, killer business acumen and practicality. She helps you tap into your deepest truth and create a thriving business from there. She is an alchemist, high priestess and yes, a true fire starter. This is not just a book or some videos, it's an experience."
- Danielle Vieth, Marketing strategist, copywriter

$150 for the full-tilt love.

And! $5 from every copy goes to the charity you choose:
The Acumen Fund or Women for Women International


Learn more...

. . . . . . .

Need writerly wisdom? I can hook you up: Bindu Wiles' Diamond Cutters course just opened. 6 writers. 6 weeks to refine and shine. CHECK IT.

 

confidence vs. blind faith: rock ‘em both

confidence

: Is earned. No exceptions. There are NO short cuts to initiation. Ever. It's law. You can do it quick n' dirty, (think: near death experiences, starter marriages done at the Lusty Lady Chapel in Vegas, trauma and tragedy, the 1999 dot com boom, winning the lottery.) Or you can do it slow, like, over life times kind of slow. But confidence is the result of insight and insight comes from experiencing things on a very deep level.

: Confidence is an arrow ommming to the target. Ommm. Spwack! Bull's eye.
: Confidence has a past. She has lost something before. (Dignity.) She's been shaken (even if she never showed it.)
: Confidence wavered and then went on to finish the race.
: Confidence goes in eyes wide open.

You need confidence to lead, to sustain, and to offer the kind of straight up compassion that transforms people.

blind faith

: Is exhilarating, caffeinated, giddy.
: Blind faith is like a race car. He white knuckles the wheel and hopes he makes the curve. Fhew.
: Blind faith is fresh. She recruits chance, destiny, and the good will of others. She prays, wishes, crosses her heart, and cozies up to luck, symbols and "signs." (It's a sign!)
: Blind faith gets carefree and careless confused. (It's okay, this is healthy chaos.)
: Blind faith tends to give up more easily, but regardless of that, blind faith is incredibly endearing.

You need blind faith to build confidence.

 

escaping? from what? your pain? or your power?

Escapism. Most new age gurus say we're expert in it. I can't disagree. We're distracted. Denatured. We're overbooked. We tend to be disconnected from our divine nature, the food we eat, the shit we buy, the eyes we look into -- our own and others.

We buffer-numb out-avoid-distract ourselves with TV, caffeine, drugs, getting off, gossiping, complaining, and otherwise meaningless conversation, shopping (more aptly, "stuffing"), working working tweeting surfing work email work work -– all to avoid feeling particular things. This is what the Buddhists would call "The Principle of Death." Keep it safe, keep it small. At all costs, avoid life.

The self-help book aisle is busting with the theory that what we're running from is our demons. Sadness, grief, emptiness, loneliness. Pain.

PAIN MANAGEMENT
Personally, I haven't run from my pain. I compensated for it. I spent so much time accommodating it, "working with it", paying attention to it –- NOT avoiding it, that I neglected my very agency and power: my joy. Unbridled, unabashedly sweet, essential joyousness.

I'm recovering Metaphysical Overachiever. After I got done being a good Catholic girl I moved on to being a Good New Age Girl. Subtly, I just swapped one gospel with the other. I just wanted to get it right, you know. I was up for facing demons. Bring them on -- and the more analysis the better. Crusading all the way.

Continually staring down your demons can be an act of avoidance all it's own.
Recapitulating the reasons for your hurts, and isms, and faults can become addictive in and of itself.
Eventually, you have to stop picking a fight with your true nature and decide to seek the joy that underlies it All.

BLISS IS BIG
I got caught up enough in going where the pain was ("brave", "evolved",) that I avoided going where the delight was. And here's what I figured out, (later than I hoped but just in time): I have not shied from pain, oh no. I have shied from ecstasy. Surprisingly, (thankfully!) ecstasy is quite patient. After all, she starts with a slow burn.

When I take the certain routes to awakeness, through the portals of breathing, laughter, stillness, spontaneity; when I exercise the courage to not fill up space with empty conversation, with the tube, with busyness, it's not my pain that I most often meet in such presence -- it's my power.

When I override my senses, refuse to bend, when I check my email just one more time before I make time for me, when I eat even though I'm full, when I hold myself back from a bursting expression of "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!" because I don't want to be too much, it's not my pain that I'm avoiding -- it's my very life force.

So which of these concepts would you rather investigate?:

"avoiding your pain"
or
"avoiding your power"

The cosmic twist is that both routes lead home. But how you make the trip to enlightenment is up to you. Pack light.

 

11 wisdoms that you can turn into cash…and crazy love

or: WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT THE HUMAN SPIRIT + MONEY ON MY 41st BIRTHDAY

So I did this Pay What You Can Day (hereto referred to as PWYCD) for THE FIRE STARTER SESSIONS. On my birthday. Recently. Many people cheered me on for "clever marketing!" And hey, I did come out of the womb with my own press release, but, you know, this wasn't solely driven by a marketing impulse. I love the sentiment of giving gifts on your birthday. Giving feels good on any day. The PWYCD notion came to me just a few days before May 25 and, truly, I thought, Hey, what the hell? If, like 70 people get in on the deal, that'd be sweet. Ha! SEVEN HUNDRED+ e-books later, we lit up the sky with crazy delight and motivation.

What happened behind the scenes:
I went for a salt scrub that morning and when I came up for air to check my iPhone I almost fell off my lounger. Gobsmacked, as the Londoners say. My VA, Dawn and I just about keeled from the comments and the emails. (It took Dawn nearly two weeks to sort out the messages, PayPal invoices, currency exchanges, cheques, and special requests.) I got in my car and had to have a boo-happy-hoo. The stories sent to my personal email address were heart-stretching, sobering, inspiring. The outpouring of love and appreciation was stunning, and (and this is what moved me so deeply,) the spontaneous generosity sparked amongst White Hot visitors, well, that just about did me in. Between the spa steam, chocolate cake, and the PWYCD affection, I was a stun bunny.

It was a life-affirming, wisdom-bolstering, humbling event that ranks in the Top 3 highlights of my career (and birthdays!) Here's what it confirmed:

11 Wisdoms That You Can Convert to Cash + Crazy Love

1. Creativity + Aspiration = INGENUITY. And ingenuity wins, every time.

Make up your mind to make an effort and then make it up as you go.

"Here is a promise and my offer. 1) I will pay this gift forward. 2) I will hold you in the Light with an intention for abundant blessings on you, your family, your ventures, and your efforts to make the world a better place. 3) I'll send you 10% of every payment I receive from every client until the entire $150 is paid off."
- Eydie

"If I sell a painting this week, I'll send you $100. If I don't sell anything, will $41 do?"
- Lisa

2. Initiative and specificity are sexy.

"I've got $37.80 in my PayPal account. It's yours. Right now. (I wish it were so much more.) I will Tweet your praises and send you a full testimonial within two weeks of receiving the book."
- Andi

3. Humility is the inroad to conviction.

The stories of hardship, and resiliency, and exceptional wealth that were so open-heartedly shared with me from women and men in four different countries...well, be still my heart. I had flashbacks to my own days in the New Mexico welfare office after I'd lost three clients in two weeks. I had flash-forwards to my intentions for sweeping financial freedom.

"I am a broke, unfunded graduate student & I work part time and a children's bookstore to feed my belly while I stoke my soul. I'd like to offer $30, a multiple of three, a great fairy tale number. And when my first book is published, you'll be in the Acknowledgments.
- Natasha

"My situation: I am currently unemployed - but am stirred up, expectant, and on purpose. I hope to use your vook to successfully launch a blog of my own. I am most humbled by your generosity and am offering to pay $75 USD."
- Rah

"I'm a single mom of two, getting food stamps, with plenty of ambition and smarts and vision. I'm good for $30 this month."
- Sasha

Sharing your story is the surest way to create a unified field of empathy. And empathy moves mountains.

4. Generous people have more to give.

"Danielle, I'd like to offer $150 but in a spread-the-love way. I'd like to:
1. give $50 directly to you,
2. give $50 to whichever of these (http://u.nu/366pa) Gulf oil spill rescue & cleanup initiatives you'd like me donate to, &
3. give a final $50 on behalf of someone who can't afford to pay anything at all for the sessions because they've done something very brave (like for instance, a woman leaving an abusive relationship with her young kids)"
- Kye

(This gesture of Kye's started a domino affect. We gave out about a dozen Fire Starter Sessions "scholarships" and paired up the donor with the recipient.)

"I would like to humbly offer you $28.44. I know this is not a lot and does not do justice to the work that you have put in to your Fire Starter Sessions. I am offering you this amount because it is the entire amount of extra money that have outside of the finances that I have put aside for rent and other similar things. If you accept my offer, I promise that I will pay it forward and make sure to share both my experience with the Fire Starter Sessions and the generosity that you have shown. I can also send some vegan baked goods your way."
- Lexi

"I would like to offer you $25 for the FSS. In addition, here is my deal to you:
~ Within the next 6 months, I will pay the remaining $125 to pay the full amount.
~ By your 42nd birthday, I will not only book an actual Fire Starter Session with you, but I will also pay another $150 so that someone who either cannot swing today's offer or does not know about it can enjoy FSS, too."
- Mary

"Offering $75 for FSS and $75 for the Gulf clean up efforts - just let me know which one of those charities you prefer."
- CJ

"I can pay $50 for Fire Starter Sessions and in a month or two give another $50 to my friends organization in Haiti on your behalf." Check http://www.fida-pch.org "
- Bronwyn

"I love this idea so much that I'm offering $200. I've had a tab open on your site since you launched, planning to buy when the moment was right. I'd say this is it."
- Oroboros

5. Giving begets giving.

This flipped me right 'round:

"I'd like to gift a copy to my fabulous friend Jo Hanlon-Moores. She is brilliant and funny and talented. And her business is growing from a little acorn. I want to bring her some fire :)"
- Sas Lockey

"I can pay the full amount and am going to because your amazingly generous offer reminded me of just how very lucky we are and we live our lives by these three words - dignity, integrity and love. I hope that by paying in full I can help subsidize a copy for someone else."
- Sophie

"I'd like to give you $100 directly for the Fire Starter Sessions, and $50 to a charity of your choice."
- Melissa

6. You must heed the impulse to give. Generosity is a core muscle that your whole being can move on.

"Today has been full of unexpected gifts and I am now able to increase my offer to $100. Reading the comments in response to your generous offer I am struck by the power of sharing our gifts. I feel so blessed to have this opportunity within my own work, and you've inspired in me a grand vision for an annual pay-as-you-can gift to my extended community."
- Sarah Juliusson

7. When you give people a break, they want to -- and usually will -- go the distance for you.

"I wanted to ask for FSS for $50, but I can actually afford the full price if I'm honest. But your generosity forces me to either pay in full or not at all. Sigh. Stupid freakin integrity..."
- Andrew Lightheart

"I only have about $50 extra bucks a month, but I want to pay the full price because I know it's worth it."
- Sam

"I'd love to pay the full $150, but with the tight spot I'm in, $40 would make my heart smile. I hope that works for you. I'd be honored to pay the balance, or make a donation to charity in your name, once my business is up and running."
- Brian

"I sold three memberships to my small site today, so that's $60. I'd like to offer that as payment for the course right now."
- Magpie Girl

8. Scarcity creates anxiety.

(This fact alone gives me cause to never do another time-sensitive event like this. I'm not saying that I won't but...whoa.) We were bowled over by dozens of emails to this affect: "Did you accept my offer?" Some people left their price offer as a blog comment, then emailed me AND my VA, and also messaged me on Twitter, and in some cases, also left a message on Facebook. The sense of urgency was...urgent! I was shocked, because, in my mind (which of course I expected thousands of people to read), I intended to honour a huge range of offers. Need + want + restriction = urgency. And the tighter the restriction, the more likely that urgency will turn into anxiety.

9. Money makes people get all weird n' stuff.

Money is like a chemical. Some chemicals mix nicely with other chemicals, some don't. With my PWYCD experiment, some folks got downright demando, "I left my comment/offer this morning and I STILL haven't heard back from you." Chill. And I'm not saying to back off just 'cause you got a hot deal (tho' that is a factor,) I'm saying chill because "chill" is generally better for world peace and your complexion. When money and trust occupy the same space, things move forward.

10. Generosity + healthy boundaries clearly communicated = ahhhh.

It's fair to say that in the (now distant) past, I may have had some uh, boundary issues with my giving nature. So although I very clearly stated in the PWYCD announcement: "This offer expires at midnight PST May 25, just like my birthday does. And I'm serious about it." I was still fretting about the possibilities of pleading, after-the-fact requests. But I only got a couple of such requests and they were so gracious and dignified and sincere, that it was a total (healthy) pleasure to honour them.

11. Humanity is, on the whole, generous, loving and kind. People want to give.

And when you operate on that foundational premise, you are actively allowing amazing things to happen.

QUESTIONS?
I'm opening up this conversation to answer any questions about the behind the scenes happenings, technological do's and snafus, emotions, and outcomes of the PWYCD extravaganza. Let 'em fly!

And...thank you.

Ever true,

. . . . . . . . .

$150 for the full-tilt FIRE STARTERS SESSIONS love.

And! $5 from every copy goes to the charity you choose:
The Acumen Fund or Women for Women International

Click here to view the full
Table of Contents!

 

11 things to do (and not do) when you’re burned out

Life balance? It doesn't exist. (Proportion, however does.)
Burn out? It's just a given for mad scientists and artists (and so very many of us are artists. MuWahahaaaa!)

I planned for this intense regeneration phase I'm in right now (read: burn out). In fact, I intended it. Three+ round-the-clock creative months on The Fire Starter Sessions book, one purchase of a new abode, big launch day, followed three days later by a move, followed by the most overwhelming need for stillness I've ever experienced. Perfectly fried. Naturally. And quite contentedly.

How to meet your burn out with an open heart and mind:

1. Cease keeping a to-do list. It's critical in burnout phases that you restore your connection to your instincts and natural rhythm--those same instincts that you likely had to override in part to achieve your goal. Not having a to do list does a few important things for your psyche: it immediately puts you in holiday-lite mode and it gives your brain space to re-jig what's important. Because if it's really and truly important, you WILL remember it. If it's critical, it will get done. When the spirit moves you, you will let yourself be moved.
2. Keep a schedule. This may sound counter-logical to easing up on yourself and nixing your to-do list. But often when we complete massive projects we can feel discombobulated or adrift. And since there are still the details of life and business to attend to, you don't want to let those smaller, non-urgent details encroach on all the space that's been freed up--that new, free space is for re-charging and partying. My re-generate schedule has "OFF" written on three days of this week. And on other days, I ink in really basic stuff that I'd normally cram into a full day, like "groceries, bank, pick up gift for Karis." And, I even make notes to myself to...
3. Schedule in sleep. This sounds goofy, but allotting time for extra sleep does something to your head-zone. It breaks the pattern of over-work, it signals your body to gear down for rest, and the mere act of writing it down officially gives you permission that you probably have a hard time giving yourself because you're so used to kicking ass rather than kicking your feet up.
4. Plan to do one Busy Luxury Thing that would make you giddy, but has felt like a waste of precious time. This week, I'm tidying up my iTunes and cranking out some new playlists. Why is this a good thing? Because my mind has been in productive over-drive for months and I want to ease out of that high. It's great to feel like you're downshifting to take in the view, not crashing into the the guardrail.
5. Recapitulate your work process and your success. It may all be a blur. But walk yourself through the inception and birth of your project. It's so important to objectively see how you managed to finish the race.
6. Return to your roots. You'll probably have a few emails to return after long-term neglect of loved ones and society. The best place to start can be with the comfort of familiar friends who loved you long before you slam dunked your big goal. The familiar can be such luscious comfort. This not only includes people, but favourite books, poetry, songs, movies, places.
7. Do not start anything new. For the love of God, stop. You're allowed to have new phantasmogorical ideas (indeed, now that your mind is freed up, you probably will have a whole new set of visions.) You can make notes. But do not activate anything. Projects started in the glow of burnout fumes have a way of fizzling out fast.
8. Express your gratitude. This is the sweetest part of regenerating. Send thank you emails, make phone calls, mail cards, send flowers, dole out bonuses. You didn't cross the finish line alone. We never do.
9. Be generous. Generosity when you're fried can be one of the most healing and restorative acts of all.
10. Wholly embrace the organic nature of create-fry-regenerate. Guilt and pressing on with super-hero stamina is three steps back. Down time is natural as John Denver in the early days.
11. Trust. It's hard for me to think that I'm not being creative, productive, contributive, moving forward--at the speed of light and love 24-7. Maybe this is a psyche workaround but it's recently and more deeply occurred to me that even in the resting, new things are being born, dying to be born, in fact. And it delights me to no end to imagine what's next.

But first...there's that nap I've scheduled in, followed by a bitta Rilke, and tea with an old friend.

. . . . . . .

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