Archive for 2009

3 simple questions to simplify success

1. What do you do (that gives you joy, because why bother if it doesn’t bring you joy)?
2. Who cares about what you do?
3. How do you get to who cares?

That's it - three essential, monumental questions for every entrepreneur. Whether you’re a hairstylist or a blogger, a lawyer or a widget seller, it’s the simplest questions that will illuminate the way. I’ve been using this inquiry strategy for years to build businesses and it never fails to light up what the top priorities are.

Like most simple things, you have to examine each question from every angle to fully glean its elegance and power. No matter what stage of growth your company is in, the answers to these questions should drive your daily actions.

Let’s use a hairstylist for example. {I happen to think hair stylists are seriously powerful citizens. You want to firmly plant an idea in the minds of thousands of people? Tell a hairdresser. He or she has the rapt attention of dozens of people a week. Salons are hotbeds of news and inspiration.} Back to success...

ROLE PLAY WITH A HAIR STYLIST

YOUR PRODUCTS + SERVICES. Most entrepreneurs actually “do” more than they perceive. Examine the benefits and the unintended positive consequences of what you give or make. Look for the deeper meaning of the result of your work.

1. What do you do (that gives you joy)?
Stylist says: “I cut hair.”
Me: No, really, what do you do?
Stylist: “I make people feel beautiful.”
Me: Uh huh. You’re getting it.
Stylist: “I’m a healer who happens to give highlights.”
Me: If you say so, then BINGO!

YOUR MARKET. Pay careful attention to who you actually attract ... how do the people who buy your services or use your content/product see the world, what do they read, where do they shop, who do they listen to, what are their values?

2. Who cares about what you do?
Stylist: “Humans with hair.”
Me: Could you be more specific?
Stylist: “Women...People who want to look great...Women between 20 and 50 who want the best possible cut and colour for under $100 ... and like to talk about personal growth and baking.”
Me: Excellent. That is YOUR market. And the only market you need to care about is your own.

MARKETING TO YOUR MARKET. Effectively accessing your audience means that you’re reaching as much of your market with the least amount of effort. Quality + Quantity + Leverage. Repeat that to yourself before you spending a dime on marketing. Look for leverage points, vocalizers, mavens, influencers to spread the word for you ... from the right trade show or celebrity, to the local socialite or class president.

3. How do you access who cares?
Stylist: “With business cards and an ad in the yellow pages.”
Me: Is that how the majority of YOUR market comes to you?
Stylist: “I get my very best clients by word of mouth referrals.”
Me: Whose word brings you YOUR market?
Stylist: “Becky the Realtor tells everyone. Janice is a total maven, she’s sent me at least ten clients. And Josie with the bakery and the flaming red bob ... she’s so well connected.”
Me: Great. Give them each a free hair cut and a stack of business cards.

The formula for success is usually so simple it takes some time to really see it. The answers may take a while to find. Keep peeling back the layers until you come to the most elegant truth. Because the truth is what works. Simple.

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check out the business books I dig the most

 

the ridiculous pursuit of being well-rounded

Multi-disciplinary, general studies, political correctness, easy to get along with, in moderation, “nice”...these are all ways that we polish off our edges to be socially acceptable and useful - even though it's your edges that give you traction and make you interesting. Your “edge” - where the genuine You meets external reality, is where your strengths are, your genius, and it’s way more fun hanging out there than in the middle ground.

Being well-rounded is highly over-rated.

Employers who are trying to multiply the strengths of people are missing the point. Entrepreneurs trying to do it all are bound to go in circles. When you focus on building on your natural strengths, on doing what comes easiest to you, you get some serious momentum. It may be counter-intuitive, it’s certainly counter-culture because it’s been drilled into to us to work hard (all you Catholics and Ivy Leaguers say hey!) but truly, optimizing your second nature is the surest way to get a return on your investment.

Ever since I read Marcus Buckingham’s The Truth About You, I’ve been stopping strangers on the street. “Hey, get this. You know what a strength is? A strength is what you do that makes you feels strengthened, vital! And...wait, it gets better, you know what a weakness is? A weakness is stuff you do that makes you feel weakened!”

Deceptively simple. Revolutionary.

Why does this make me wanna do back-flips? Because this changes everything, people. And it goes back to my root theory in life, that it’s all about feelings. It means that all that crap that you don’t really like to do, but that you’re really good at ... you get to dump it! No more faking it to make it.

So what about good old-fashioned hard work? I’m all for it - when you’re moving towards the real you. No more trying to be a PR genius when what you do best is paint landscapes or make the widgets (hire a PR genius.) No more trying to come up with blue sky five year plans when you’re a short-term focused details guy (get a coach or a visionary friend to help you see the possibilities.) For me, that means I will never care about cooking the Thanksgiving turkey, being good at parties, or rocking Excel. Never gonna happen.

THE STRONG / WEAK EXERCISE
Buckingham has a powerful exercise that I loved. For one week I wrote down what made me feel strong and what made me feel weakened/drained. This showed up on my "weak" list: unqualified meetings make me feel like a loogan.

I was scheduled to have tea with an acquaintance of an acquaintance. I trusted the referral and so I made the date in haste, with a quick “sure, how about the café by so and so’s.”

A few weeks later when I was walking to the meeting, I was feeling really resentful and pissy. WEAKENED. Because I hadn’t bothered to ask, I had no idea why the person actually wanted to meet. And I was feeling like I’d betrayed my time, my priorities. (And sure enough, the meeting could have happened in 15 minutes over the phone and I wouldn’t have had to find parking or rush to pick up my kid.) Conclusion: I feel strong when I ask, when I clarify, when I know The Point. I feel weak when don’t value my own time.

The masters focus on what they do best ... on their NATURAL CAPACITIES. They stay in their zone ... and the zone is what feels good, damn good.

So I what makes you feel strong?
Do more of it. And more still. Find ways to get even better at it, sharpen your saw as the old master of effectiveness, Stephen Covey puts it. Push your edge. Dare to be focused on your natural capacities. Say yes to what you love, what inspires you, what lights you up. It takes some kahunas, but it beats well-rounded mediocrity any day.

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FIND MARCUS BUCKINGHAM
His site
The Truth About You
Now, Discover Your Strengths
Twitter: @mwbuckingham

 

burning questions with adam baker, debt ass-kicker + frugalmeister

Transparency makes me giddy. And simplicity makes me swoon. Ergo, my crush du jour: Baker. Adam Baker. Want to know how much money he really makes? He and his wife will give you the bare details. Want to know what he thinks about religion and money? He'll tell ya. This guy is so radically transparent, he'll even show his love handles. He's the ManVsDebt. Champion of frugality, accountability, and fat burning.

1. What is your purpose for money?
I want to dominate it. I want to be 100% debt-free, owe not one person a single cent. I want to have enough of it to not need anymore of it. I want it to be able to empower my other dreams, not restrict them. And I don't want to wait 40 years.

2. What questions in your life had the biggest impact?

• Today, if your doctor called and informed you that you had 24 hours left to live...what did you miss?
• Who did you not get to be?
• What did you not get to do?

3. What do you know to be true, unquestionably beyond doubt, certain with every cell of your being, completely, passionately, righteously certain?
Nothing. I'm always trying to learn and always trying to evolve. Certainty can be a blessing and a curse. I will give you this, I know I am extremely fortunate. I have a beautiful, healthy wife and daughter. I've always had access to food, water, shelter. I am CERTAIN that I am lucky and there are those far, far less fortunate in the world.

4. What book(s) are you always telling people to read?
I only try to refer people to books that have really, really had an impact on me:
Your Money or Your Life - Radically jolted my views on money (more...)

 

how to make the most of being toast: embracing burnout

"AND THEN SHE CLEARLY UNDERSTOOD.
IF HE WAS FIRE,
SHE MUST BE WOOD."

- Joan of Arc, by Leonard Cohen
(the most gorgeous version
of which is sung by Jennifer Warnes)

I admit it: I'm burned out. Fried. Toasted.

But this time, there's something satisfying and tasty about being...roasted by the life I've chosen. I'm reveling in it. Rather than the usual "How'd I let this happen?, or, I'm weak, or, I should take better care of myself..." admonishments (from myself and others,) I'm curling up to my tenderized being and I'm really very pleased with the state of me.

I'm devoted to tending the fire of knowledge, to blazing my own trail. Burn out is a natural part of shining. Naturally. I welcome it now.

Because I'm such a Typically Tough Cookie, admitting to burn out is not my first inclination. My response to the creeping psyche crispies has been to put on more mascara and tighten my bra straps. But the evidence has been surfacing:

YOU KNOW YOU'RE BURNED OUT WHEN:

1. Your friend asks where you want to go for breakfast and you say, "Anywhere they serve mashed potatoes and chocolate cake."
2. You start to feel a whole new sympathy for Britney Spears' last breakdown because, "Poor thing, the pressure to be skinny, manage your millions, raise your babies, and remember your dance routine must be outfreakingrageous. Someone needs to nominate her for the Nobel."
3. When asked what famous historical figure you'd like to have dinner with, you choose Joan of Arc, "because I want to know if she was a nut-bar or truly vocationally inspired."
4. You start listening to inordinate amounts of music from high school (for me that would be The Cure) and Gregorian chants.
5. You wear a hat, sunglasses, and a scarf to the grocery store. You wish you could wear your Uggs to business meetings.
6. You generally feel like you're walking through the world minus a layer of epidermis and it's really windy outside.
7. You totally relate to this "Overnight Success" video from Chris Brogan.
8. When you hear some tragic news about brutality and violence, you want to collapse into a ball of sobbing guilt because, clearly, you're not doing enough to save the human race from it's mortal coil.
9. Your monastic fantasies are unceasing. You dream of living on an island only accessible by boat (but where, magically, FedEx and Pizza Hut still deliver.)

Yep, you done be fried.

RE-FRAMING BURN OUT INTO A BEAUTIFUL POSSIBILITY:

1. You run long and hard, you get tired. That's a fact. Marathoners don't criticize themselves after a race for being exhausted. They rest.
2. Rest and excitement don't have to be mutually exclusive terms. You can have some down time and still bubble with the anticipation of getting back into the game.
3. My wonder goddess coach, Dyana Valentine puts it this way: "Your energetic vulnerability is helping you get clear on what you need." Damn, that's goood.
4. Take stock of all you've accomplished. You've come far, baby. And you've got the road rash and the muscle definition to prove it.
5. "Life balance" is an insidious myth. Picasso, Oprah, Steve Jobs, Einstein, Maria Callas - they weren't aiming for balance, they were aiming to rock their genius, and they've all had periods of burn out.
6. Cozy comfort hiding quiet time can make for some amazing new ideas.
7. On the seventh day, even God rested.
8. As the legend goes, when the Phoenix resurrects from the flames, she is even more beautiful than before.

I will start a fresh fire and jump back into it. I'm gathering kindling in between unpacking my suitcases and naps. I've got Bigger Than Ever Plans. And maybe six months or six years from now, I will be burned out, spent, deeply satiated and in need of cocoa and solace again. I'm looking forward to it.

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Send my note cards 'round the world...when you care enough to say it in black & white.

 

hot song: the book of my life, sting with anoushka shankar

True poetry.

The Book Of My Life
- Sting

Let me watch by the fire and remember my days
And it may be a trick of the firelight
But the flickering pages that trouble my sight
Is a book I'm afraid to write

It's the book of my days, it's the book of my life
And it's cut like a fruit on the blade of a knife
And it's all there to see as the section reveals
There's some sorrow in every life

If it reads like a puzzle, a wandering maze
Then I won't understand 'til the end of my days
I'm still forced to remember,
Remember the words of my life

There are promises broken and promises kept
Angry words that were spoken, when I should have wept (more...)

 

how to kiss up to your muse

The Muse of love, art, cash, strategy, worship, desire, wellness, beauty, business plans.

Don't you adore her? Do you...adore her? Actively? Adore.

Muses simply must be adored. They're as grandiose as they are generous. They like to be respected. If you meet them half way, they'll give you the moon, the breakthrough concept, the stroke of...genius. Dis' your muse and she's likely to stop dropping by. She's righteous. Genius is like that.

As Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love) puts it in her freshly legendary TED Talk, we've made "a huge error in believing that creative genius comes from the Self," rather than a greater source outside of us. Can you hear the Muses saying, "Yeah baby. Got that right. You say it sister."

There are a zillion starry ideas floating in the milky way and they need you as much as you need them. Genius is looking for a vehicle. You gotta pimp your ride.

HOW TO DO RIGHT BY THE MUSE

1. Drop everything when she shows up.
In an interview with Neil Young, Charlie Rose asks Neil about following his muse. (You won't hear this in the clip below.)

Charlie: "So if you get an idea at say, a dinner party, if you hear a tune or a lyric, do you excuse yourself form the party?"
Neil: "Of course. You never know when she'll (The Muse) come again. I'm responsible to her."

When you feel an idea comin' on, excuse yourself. Pull over to the side of the road. Get lost in the creative flow. Be late. Barge in. (Eccentricity makes Muses especially horny.)

2. Have your tools ready.
Master-writer Anne Lamott, keeps 3×4 white note cards and pens in every purse and drawer and vehicle to capture thoughts that float out as quickly as they float in. If I leave home without my kraft Moleskine and blue medium point PaperMate pens, I feel discombobulated, like I might miss my train. Keep a notepad by your night stand. Leave yourself a voice mail. Don't assume that the best ideas will come back to you.

3. Go looking for her.
You know where she likes to party: the art gallery, by the lake, on your morning run, when the stereo is cranked and the lights are low, in the stillness of a church or forest, when you first wake up. Set the stage and chances are she'll take to it.

4. Engage her.
She's busy, for sure, but The Muse LOVES it when you actually play with her. When she drops an idea in your bucket you can ask her what the hell she's thinking. You can ask her what chapter should come next, or where to look for funding. She could yammer 'til dawn and before you know it, you've mapped out your magnum opus.

5. Do what she tells you to do.
Ignore your muse at your own peril. She doesn't always have it right, or maybe we don't always hear her clearly, but the more you heed her wisdom, the faster you get to drive on the Creative Awesomeness Highway. You and The Muse in the diamond lane. Godspeed.

Charlie Rose interviews Neil Young :

 

 

we know you’re busy. now shut up about it.

"So sorry, I've been busy."
"I'm just so busy with..."
"I've been too busy too..."

Busy? Get in line.

If I ever tell you that, “I’m so sorry that I've been too busy to...” then I'll pay $500 bucks to your favourite charity and get you a year supply of Haagen Dazs bars. Of course I'm busy. That's life. That's my life. That's most people's lives. Grown up humans tend to be...busy. Add kids, or business start ups, or illness into the mix and you have...much more of life to be busy about.

"I'm just so busy," is the typically gasping, rushed, whiny refrain that's become a contemporary anthem. It doesn't make us look more important, it makes us look just-this-side-of-frazzled. It's typically used as a lite apology, an excuse, a duck-out, as if your Life Master is making you do stuff that you don’t want to do. Even as a well-intended social pleasantry, "Sorry, I've been busy," has a little victim ring to it.

Whatever is on your plate got there because you said yes to it - in the fullness of ambition and desire and wanting to eat life whole. Sometimes we take on to-do's and commit to climb mountains because our soul demands it. Sometimes life throttles us with unforeseen and unrelenting demands. Sometimes busyness is the result of keeping up with the Joneses. Busy can be good. Busy can be bad. Busy is most often a choice.

The "busier than our predecessors...age of technology...workaholic culture," argument. I don't buy it. Yes, we appear to be more compulsive, less nuclear, and surviving on less sleep than the pioneers, but their lives were just as packed. They were extremely busy planting potatoes and raising barns, and surviving from sunup to sundown (they got more sleep than we average because, a) they didn't have the luxuries that light bulbs afford, and b) they did physically exhausting work.) The fifties housewife was just as busy. Before eco-evil but ever-so-handy tools like disposable diapers, the Swifer and microwaves, June Cleaver had to work it.

"Sorry, I've been busy," is often used to appease busy-bodies. - the kind of people who email you to double check if you got their email from yesterday, or their thank you note.

So what do you tell 'em when you're late? When you can't fit another moment into your daytimer, when you have to send regrets, or pass on a sweet opportunity? Tell them the truth. Report on life, rather than whining about it. Deliver it with ease or with pride if you're inclined. "Been in five cities in four weeks. The kid’s all had the flu. It's tax season, you know.” Let people meet you in your clear truth rather than your apologetic panic.

And sometimes, many times, you don't need to excuse yourself at all. Just show up. Present and accountable, full of life and it's demands. We all understand.

 

burning questions with gwen bell: social media + infinite love

Gwen Bell is a yoga-teaching, social media Swami Girl (she was named one of the 50 Most Powerful and Influential Women in Social Media,) with a heart a big as the World Wide Web. Infectious. Savvy. And sought after for her perspective on trends in Web 2.0, Twitter (where she met her husband!), wellness, and women who virtually rock. Gwen is a partner in Kirtsy, and a mean personal manifesto mistress. And! she co-created one the most useful e-experiences ever: The Unconventional Guide to the Social Web, Gwen Bell & Chris Guillebeau Click here to view more details.

It's an honour to have her grace this space.

1. What do you know to be true, unquestionably beyond doubt, certain with every cell of your being, completely, passionately, righteously certain?

We will suffer and we will die. Our work is to do our work - to be completely present - while we have the power in us to breathe, to feel our hearts beating.

2. What was the dumbest thing that you used to believe in?

Love is finite.

3. What’s your super hero name? (You have one. To discover it, stand with your legs apart and hands on your hips, tits up and eyes to the sky. It’ll come to you. FYI, Mine is Agent Now, which in French translates to L’Agent Maintenent. Adorable n'est pas?)

An image comes to mind. Uma Thurman kicking ass in Kill Bill. I'm a Post-modern Samurai She-ro.

4. What is your favorite question?

It's the last day of the year. Reflecting on it, what do you say about your year?

5. Who would you nominate for a Nobel Prize?

Thich Nhat Hanh. He has already been nominated. By Dr. Martin Luther King. I would nominate him again. The meditation retreat I did with him radically changed the course of my life.

6. What book(s) are you always telling people to read?

Refuse to Choose, by Barbara Sher
Happiness, by Thich Nhat Hanh
Clearing Your Clutter with Feng Shui, by Barbara Kingston
Fortunes, by Jen Lee http://www.jenlee.net/
Anything by Sark
The E-Myth Revisited, by Michael E Gerber
The Anti 9-5 Guide, by Michelle Goodman http://www.anti9to5guide.com/
The Brothers Karamazov, by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Chimera, by John Barth
Anything by Alan Watts

(Too many to name, I used to work in a book store and spent every paycheck the day paychecks came in. Seriously. Too many to name.)

7. I’m going to give you a word. Tell me what the first thing that comes to mind when you read it... Ready? The word is: DEVOTION.

Forehead on my yoga mat, hands in prayer position, offering it all up.

Om shanti sister Gwen. Ommmmmm shanti.

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Find Gwen right this minute:
GwenBell.com
Twitter: @gwenbell
Facebook

The Unconventional Guide to the Social Web, Gwen Bell & Chris Guillebeau Click here to view more details. This is more than an "e-book." This is a robust, ridiculously useful gotta-have guide that blows others of it's ilk out of the water. And, oh yeah, there's a really fun interview with Gwen and me about authenticity and branding. If you're doing anything on-line, go buy this guide...and pretty much anything else Chris Guillebeau creates.

 

11 productivity tips that creative types already know

Creative types get typecast as meandering goal setters for a reason. They tend to meander. We resist structure (even tho' we crave it it.) We relish spontaneity (even tho' we're intrigued by five year goal setting plans.) We tend to be driven by inspiration (when we're not obsessed with looking good on paper, or to our parents - who still can't figure out how we make a living.) We get there in our own way and when the 'flow' works, we're so smokin' productive that pert charts and to-do lists cringe in the wake of our creative productivity. Creatives have a thing or two to teach the Linears and The Planners.

CREATIVE PRODUCTIVITY THAT WORKS FOR BOTH ARTISTES & A-TYPE PERSONALITIES:

1. APPROACH EVERYTHING AS A CREATIVE OPPORTUNITY. There is no separation between life and work. The same opportunities to express yourself or get great ideas are at the dinner table, in the stock exchange, and on the subway. Put yourself out there.

2. OBSESSION IS ESSENTIAL. Know your art and your science. Immerse yourself in the cultures you love and work in: read industry news, the teachings of spiritual masters and successful entrepreneurs, listen to what the people you serve are longing for, asking for, and leaning toward.

To foster obsession:
3. Read a LOT of magazines. And then read some more ... about things related and unrelated to your work, Scientific American and Vogue, Dwell and Rolling Stone. Magazines are intensified viewpoints that can expand your perspective in just a few pages.

4. Create a style file or inspiration box of stuff that you love. Photos, articles, fabric swatches, postcards. I have an antique sake box filled with strange and lovely stuff. Sometimes I close my eyes and reach in to see what comes up - an Elvis coaster, a Zen koan torn from a divinity school program, an old essay or concert ticket.

5. Watch dox. I’m a documentary-phile (always looking for versions of the truth,) which gives me all sorts of weird, tragic, breathtaking imagery, inspiration, and facts to work with.

6. Engage with people that you don’t hangout with. Ask them big questions. Ask the cab driver what crazy stuff he's seen as a cab driver, ask your friend's teenager what they think about the future, ask your bank teller what it's like to work with money all day.

To keep moving forward:

7. GIVE UP QUICKLY. If something feels like a drag and is not generating the right response ... drop it like a hot potato. As Seth Godin says in his book, The Dip, “Fail fast.”

In order to give up quickly, you have to...

8. COURAGEOUSLY EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS. When something feels very wrong, totally uninspiring, say so ... to yourself and your team. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you give up, it may spin you off into a better solution.

So that you can:

9. STICK WITH IT. If something feels fun, glimmering, exciting, and even one person has expressed wanting it from you ... explore every angle about how to make it work.

And be assured that:

10. BACKWARDS IS FORWARDS. Know that there is no such thing as waste. A painted canvass that didn’t turn out, a pilot group that fizzled, it’s all useful. I trash stuff and start from scratch often. Sometimes, especially in terms of web development, you start knowing that you’ll have to scrap half of what you build down the road - starting over is never really starting over. It’s life.

Which allows you to:

11. CELEBRATE OTHER PEOPLE’S CREATIVITY AND PROSPERITY. Honoring other people’s creativity and success helps shake loose our own brilliance. Whether it’s a hot website, a terrific outfit on the street, or a well known author - go out of your way to say, “You’re great!” “Way to go!” “I love what you’ve created.”

And then keep on creating for yourself. Ever so productively.

 

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