one of the most powerful questions, ever

 
 
Illustration by Shilo Shiv Suleman, contributor to *What Is Dying To Be Born?*


"What's dying to be born?" Lianne said to some of us women over mint tea earlier this year. Kelly. Ronna. Gwen. Lee-Anne. We nodded, quietly, taking it into our hearts. It was a lot to take it.

This question wouldn't leave Lianne alone. (What question won't leave you alone?) Until she knew she had to give it it's own red tent in which to be explored. She sent out a fiery, impassioned request to dozens of global-hearted chickas - among them, Martha Beck, Meg Wheatley, Brene Brown, Patti Digh, Colleen Wainwright - and midwifed a veritable feast of wisdom and art. (NOTE: creating a work of art can be that easy when you don't hold back.)

Click here to download free copies of What Is Dying to Be Born. It's generous and intense. Leaders of every kind should read it. And because Lianne Raymond is such a multilingual mystic, it's full of gorgeous art work.

My contribution to the collective goes something like this (an excerpt):

What is dying to be born?
The beauty of our DNA is dying to be born: an acceptance of the order of chaos; the reverence of High Priestesses in the grocery store; the force of incredibly tender men; the critical necessity of senses that transcend technology.

The genius heart is being born.

NOW THAT DAMN QUESTION WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE
This question has since set up it's own lounger in corner of my psyche, and it's been demanding to be fed. When I worked in Washington DC with a team of futurists and freaky braniacs, this question, to varying depths, drove everything we did. Scenarios on AIDS in Africa, water wars, extraterrestrial contact, the evolution of consciousness. The Future In All Its Gore and Glory. Naturally, we were obsessed with it.

But these days I'm much less interested in the future and fancy suppositions as I am about the present. If we can penetrate the present, we can be more pro-creative with what's next. When we can clearly see the now - as the hologram that it is, we step into to our Godliness.

WHY THIS QUESTION IS SO POWERFUL (IF YOU LET IT BE)
There's a similar question that I've come across with organizational development consultants and high-minded facilitator types: What wants to happen? It's effectual, for sure. It allows for authenticity to surface. But what's so freaking brilliant about Lianne's question is the double entendre of it:

1) What is dying to be BORN - gotta hatch, must happen, on the way, what emphatically desires to be real?

2) What is DYING to be born - crumbling, fading, breaking down, in order that something therefore can be... born?

I'm interested in the dying part today. Because this question comes with a premise, I think: something must die in order to be born. Today, I believe that.

And if this is true, then we've got to ask this of our lives: What needs to die?
Fears. Perceived failures. Contracts that bind too tight. Excuses for hatred where compassion is called for. Limited thinking. Antagonism. More fear. Callousness. Lethargy. Cynicism. Greed.

These are big sweeping concepts. We tend to place them "out there" on groups and nations and others. But each of us has some stinky, life-sucking behavior, or paradigm, or dis-ease, that is having it's way with the best of us - the part of us that always wants to be born. And whatever it is, (and it's probably ugly) it needs to die so that you can be You. Fully.

Euthanize whatever is holding you back. (Might I suggest that you do it gently, swiftly if you can, ideally with gratitude and free of aggression.) That's the only way to know what's dying to be born.

. . . . . . .

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  • Blake
    Seriously enlightening! Euthanisation of outmoded concepts is truly the key :-)
  • Lisa
    I am my own biggest obstacle, in this life.

    I often think about how we were all created with amazing gifts and talents and the only thing that stops us from realizing those gifts and talents is ourselves.

    Fear, complacency, self-doubt, denial and a lazy booty has stopped me from being the "ME" I was created to be. I say denial because, when trying to figure out what things to kill off first, for a birth of the real "ME", things come to mind and are brushed off with a "well, it's not so bad...there must be something worse".

    Time to grow up, I guess.

    Thanks for the kick in the pants.
  • Great question indeed, I especially like your answer about what needs to die. I wish I had an ax to chop all those things out of my life! :-) Love your blog btw!
  • Danielle, I messaged you on FB and you redirected me to talk to you here? I'm interested in securing that list that you sell in the cards and such but can't do paypal--any other methods of payment? LMK thx
  • email me your address: d@daniellelaporte.com
    cheers.
    D
  • Absolutely LOVE this, I have been struggling with a lot of changes in my life and trying to pin point what needs to "die" to allow other areas to grow and excel. This really helped, I'd say one of your best articles EVER! I can't wait to share it with others...
  • This is a truly inspiring talking point.

    My growth has always been inhibited because I allowed others and their limited thought processes pollute my dreams, but I'm now starting to realise and accept that that says more about their issues than my talent.

    And the crux of the matter is that so many of us are in a similar predicament.

    I do so wish you had posted this some twenty years ago!
  • Love this: "Euthanize whatever is holding you back. (Might I suggest that you do it gently, swiftly if you can, ideally with gratitude and free of aggression.) That's the only way to know what's dying to be born." Thank you!
  • Cathy_Elaine
    I love you, Danielle.
  • This speaks extremely prominently to me as an artist.

    Every time I create a piece, I end up destroying what I thought the idea behind it was. There isn't a task out there that doesn't begin by some sort of death - death to yourself, to your ideas, to the world ... Emptying yourself out before you start is an essential form of dying that we need to grow. Only empty cups can be filled.

    Thank you for sharing this!

    Inspirational material to fuel me for the day :)
  • shawnacevraini
    Thank you Danielle. I have been struggling this weekend with letting something die so that something better could be born. I have never before been able to say no to a relationship, but this one has been poisoning me. I have been feeling such guilt about it; about not wanting it anymore; about wanting to be free of the resentment and anger it causes me.

    This weekend, I let it die, I decided that it must end. They are very angry with me and I have had second thoughts about doing it since I've never done that before. But...in between my guilt, I feel so much freedom. I feel like I have more to give those relationships that I do care about.

    This has been extremely difficult for me. I have been hard on myself for doing it, but it had to be done. Death is never easy, but the rebirth and room to grow is so much better for it.

    Thank you again
  • "in between my guilt, I feel so much freedom"
    ah yes, the ol' Freedom Sandwich. Eat 'er up.
    xo
  • mrsmediocrity
    I love this question, and I love your expansion of it even more. I think this will be rolling around in my brain for a few weeks now, until I can find my own answer for what needs to die, what needs to be born in my life. I really love what you do here.
  • hmm...you don't sound so mediocre, Mrs...
    xo
  • nickic61
    Wonderfully written and true words of wisdom. I love the e-book and have read it many times since downloading it last week.

    I am not sure, until death struck close to me, that I saw that death left room for more life. Nature has tried to teach us this cyclically with the seasons - one dying for the next's birth - forever. We just need to pay attention.
  • ronnadetrick
    Danielle: SO love all you've said here, as well as its impetus in Lianne's potent and powerful statement (and subsequent creation!). Just last night I was reading about death and came across these words from Clarissa Pinkola Estes:

    "When we are untangling this [Life/Death/Life] nature, it would be good for us to sing something like this: What must I give more death to today, in order to generate more life? What do I know should die, but am hesitant to allow to do so? What must die in me in order for me to love? What not-beauty do I fear? Of what use is the power of the not-beautiful to me today? What should die today? What should live? What life am I afraid to give birth to? If not now, when?"

    "If we sing the song of consciousness till we feel the burn of truth, we throw a burst of fire into the darkness of the psyche so we can see what we're doing...what we're truly doing, not what we wish to think we're doing."

    Thank you for your always-beautiful words, as well as for your link!

    May we know much death and life today!
  • gave me shivers.

    "What must I give more death to today?"

    because death is mine to give....
  • "Euthanize whatever is holding you back." Gotta love your gift for concise phrases. Hard to believe it's been almost a year since my FireStarter session and I've barely moved. It grieves me so to not be one of your shining stars of super achievement. I'm just stuck in this spin cycle. I get glimpses of the exit, have moments of wonderful clarity, flashes of awareness, which makes spinning back round to stuck all the more frustrating.

    I've been trying on a variety of strategies to kick my ass into some direction. Just re-listened to our session, started back into yoga, taking a rock wall building workshop, getting new glasses and now that the weather's improving, going for walks in the woods - anything I can come up with to electrocute the status quo. Right now it looks like what needs to die - inertia, self doubt and the mother of them all, fear.

    So, this post is a timely one ... they usually are. Thanks Danielle
  • Thanks for the introduction.

    I love this question and YES! I think--it's exactly how I feel: something is DYING to be born! And this feels amazing.

    Reminds me of a quote I've loved this past year by Anais Nin

    "And then the day came,
    when the risk
    to remain tight
    in a bud
    was more painful
    than the risk
    it took
    to Blossom"

    You can't help it--it must be born.
  • lemead
    I love this. I loved Lianne's e-book, and had the very same set of reactions you elucidate here. The "dying" to be born speaks both of the urgency of that that is nascent and of the necessary death of that which is no longer needed or productive. It is so hard, at least for me, to let things die, even when I know that it is time for that. So hard.
  • Wow - I LOVE this question and have just experienced the dying portion in my life by resigning from a part-time job that had become very "shackles on". I am in the midst of the birth part. It's so exciting. I look forward to reading the book...
  • A stellar post, Danielle. Laser focused, white hot wisdom. It combines the analysis phase with the action. I didn't just read the symbolism of the something dying in order for something else to get created. The first image I had was of something withering on the vine if it doesn't get born; a seed rotting in the ground; an emergency birth that can result in a birth or a double death. Hard to stay at the ruminating stage when you've had a blinding message that comes with its own flashing red ambulance lights. Thank you. This was a great question to start the day with.
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