love local: an extra-special message for anyone trying to save the world

I believe the world is a reflection of our own personal ecosystem. Maybe if we brought that love and peace home, it would reverberate throughout the universe. Thanks for your thoughts.

wow! what an argument for silent self-reflection! I need more!! thank you Danielle for a fabulous story

oh yeah. like robert pirsig said - the only zen you're gonna find at the top of the mountain is the zen you bring with you. one of my very very pet peeves is folks who don't get that - mean of me, i know, but there you go; people who haul around nikons and ipods and jet here & there & then tell me that i need a small car & recycled toilet paper to save the world. feels like hypocrisy to me, feels like they need to get home and stay there for a while. socially responsible person sounds like published poet - if you gotta tell people you are one, well, maybe you need to think about that.

having an exhausted rushed work filled morning & loving this post.

This one really resonates for me, Danielle. I think we can only care so much about people we've never met (and probably never will) - but at the same time, it's romantic to devote yourself to bigger and bigger causes. But what's wrong with spending our time and energy on the people close to us - the people we really can care about?

I think that's a hard lesson we all need to learn. Right now, caring about faraway, global causes is the cool thing to do. But it's also kind of absurd, if you think about it. We have enough problems to solve at home. Would it really be so bad if we attended to our own problems and let others attend to theirs? I'm not denouncing charity or anything, just questioning how genuinely we can care about complete strangers over our friends and family.

This has been the lesson of my past year...coming home to love (and live responsibly and well upon the earth). Thanks for this.

You know as a relationsihp coach I can sometimes get caught up in my own lofty rhetoric about redeeming families and the future generation, but damnit those individual family members (in my own family, mind you) sure do get in the way of all that....so this is right up there with my own renewed comittment to walk my talk and make sure I am in right relationship with my very own family.

Beautiful!
Even closer to home than your loved one(s) is loving yourself. If we could all just completely 100% love ourself, then our true light would shine and touch everyone in our lives and the planet would be lit up like a Christmas tree.

I often get caught up in thinking that I have to fix all of the big problems in the world and that if I don't, then I have failed.

Your post gave me permission to operate at a realistic level on idealistic goals. Thank you for encouraging your readers to remember that seemingly small "spheres of influence" can have a big impact.

Thanks for sharing this! Powerful reminder.

I wrote a post in August titled "The Proximity Plan: Know Your Neighbor, Save the World." In part, it's echoes a similar philosophy as your thirds. Obviously, we should never be so inwardly fixated that we wrongly think our core circle stops with us (or have no desire to impact positively the larger world). But we must acknowledge and honor that our core circle IS where it STARTS for each of us. How much better to include investing a piece of our hearts and souls at home and in our "base" town or city.

We need relationships -- with our families, with our literal, physical next-door neighbors (at least know their names), and with our global neighbors (finally slaying the "us versus them" debate). And the greatest news is it isn't an either-or proposition. ...

We don't even have to look at it as dividing our time or efforts but rather multiplying the love and effects!

I am sure that a lot of people in that circle appreciated that level of honesty and vulnerability, just as your readers do. Not that it matters whether they did or not. You got the raw gift of perspective while you can still act/live/love on it. And that is a powerful blessing. Best to you!

While I'm not trying to save the whole world, sometimes I do take my "mission" at work, to change my little corner of the world, a little TOO seriously. I've been working on not putting all of my love and energy "out there" - need to save some for my real life, not just my work life.

(Oh, and I'm NOT a public crier either, so I could very much feel your pain...) I know you know you rock (or you should know!), but I'll say it again anyway - you rock, Danielle!

wow. reading this is potentially more real than actually meeting you face to face. thanks for being in the world, on so many levels. I'm grateful to be connected to your kind of leadership!

What a beautiful story Danielle. Thank you so much for sharing it. xo

Sounds like Danielle Recovering Saviour of the World is just getting a bit anxious about her upcoming nuptials and the need for a good holiday. Too much vegetarianism, activism, futurism, pro-this and pro-that can certainly lead to the truth that you might not actually be doing very much for anyone but yourself !! Perhaps that awareness is what really upset Danielle. Those who actually do make a positive difference in countries less fortunate, love what they do - making a difference, helping people. If you truthfully label yourself as a 'saviour of the world' you probably aren't.

"love the one I was with and love him well - the way he deserved to be loved." My lesson, right here, right now...thanks.

I LOVE THIS!

I can completely relate after 2 weeks of Intensive Yoga Teacher Training! I sobbed like an infant with colic!

And I'm totally digging all the great commentary. Your readers are awesome people.

Thanks for posting - well done, you. A keeper for my files.

Namasté
Mitzi

PS - thanks to you, I'm overhauling EVERRRR-THANG and it feels GOOOOOD.
:)

Hi Danielle. This post is sparking something for me that I'm not even sure I can articulate! I've been working in the power-based personal violence field for 10 years, doing everything from making the coffee for coalition meetings to now coaching front-line advocates on authentic (for them) self-caring. In the last few years what I keep bumping up against is that when we are working on our stuff, getting messy in the process ourselves, being so real as you posted about so many times (like the renaming yourself on Twitter--love it), we can shape-shift our work. The work is still there for us to do--the causes--here and abroad. And yes, balance is a myth in that we don't arrive there and then we're good. It seems to me it truly takes this combo of being in our own process, finding our own ways (like your third-third-third model), tweaking every moment as we need to adjust, and connecting. With ourselves, our families, those we are working with. We are all in this process together and it feels like the more "real" we are in it, flubbering tears and all, the deeper the change that is created.
I hope I'm making sense. I still have loads of questions about all of this but I know in my heart we're onto something by shifting in this way. I'll get off my soap box now....thank you for your truth-telling posts.

Danielle, I love this. I do think there's great work to be done in the world and I dream of the opportunity to be in the midst of global thinkers and change agents. I also, fervently, believe those gatherings should include a hefty percentage of "ordinary" less exalted people who are living the daily round of living and loving in the most immediate ways.
I do identify with an -ism (Buddhism.) And for me the instruction there is to develop full blown love for myself and those around me, including the prickly parts, so that it's genuine when I take it to save the world.

I wanted to join the Peace Corp when I grew up, I wanted to take pictures of endangered animals for National Geographic when I grew up, I wanted to be a part of Greenpeace and stop whaling when I grew up... or live in a tree with Butterfly... or help end malaria... or aids... or... when I grew up.

And I thought I had grown up and got married and had kids and gone were the dreams of healing the world in some grand historical way.

Then one day at work, I looked at myself in the mirror under the fluorescent lights in a corporate office building bathroom and I realized I am a world changing - loving - connected - spiritual mom and spouse. Loving my family and teaching our boys to grow up to be compassionate, strong, nurturing, grounded men is healing the world in my lifetime and lifetimes to come.

I give as much as I can to the non-profits I support... and I am very clear about my boundaries... family comes first... always.

Thank you so much for giving me the gift of you very clear statement, "love the one I was with and love [them] well - the way [they] deserved to be loved." I am printing that out and hanging it up - its a great reminder. And thank you for sharing your truth, authentically... I read it was a difficult thing to do and I honor you for it.

Danielle,

My mother would love this post - whenever I speak of doing great things, saving the world, finding the cure for cancer...she says doing great things starts at home, with my own children, my own husband, even my "own self". ;) One of her favorite quotes is from Mother Theresa, "In this life we cannot do great things. Only small things with great love."

Though we've never met, I feel such a kindred spirit in you and just want to tell you that I love you and your complete and utter honesty.

Heather

thank you for this post. it hit home for me as i find myself grappling with all of the issues you raise above. what a powerful thought you give at the end. your story and putting yourself out there for others to relate to inspires me in fantastic ways.

Girl, you move me. I had a moment where a solitary tear swam in my eye. I'm in a 'struggle' between the great things I want to do in the world and the great things I want to be and have in my personal life. Looking forward to the other side of the swamp, but perhaps I'm rushing it. Asking for divine guidance and letting this period of unrest be... Tia @TiaSparkles

This post reminds me of the T-shirts I keep threatening to make for myself and all my friends. They would say: Radical world-changers undercover as normal suburban moms...

Deciding to give up a senior position at a busy University
hospital while pursuing my dream non-profit project was a
direct consequence of making this same realization - that
while 'saving the world', I would be neglecting the special
people in my personal life - and risk losing them (or that
depth of our relationship).

It is four years since that day. I believe it is one of
the (few) "rightest" decisions of my career.

Nice post. Nice message. I hope many listen - and heed
it.

All success
Dr.Mani

You. Just. Made. Me. Cry.
I have spent the last year wrestling with the passion I have for my environmental non-profit career and the things I wish I wasn't giving up to have it - like financial security and proximity to my loved ones.
I'm teasing my way through it, heading back to school for a grad degree and daily reading job postings looking for a way to recreate balance. I'm still sitting in the middle of it but trying with all my heart not to get stuck there. Thanks for sharing that I'm not the only one. Shanti

Okkaaaay... so I'm not that eloquent. Dang gurl... you're a great communicator and lover.

Oh wow. Thank you so much for sharing this! You know you said you aren't that "ego-less" - I think that's something that slips out in moments like this. Your conscience mind may not think so, but internally I think you must be, if you were able to let go like that, regardless of who was watching.

"like, my body was crying for me and there was no stopping it" - I feel this sometimes when I read stuff I've written about periods in my life when I was... well, bad, emotionally and spiritually bankrupt. Or when I really get into deep connections with the feelings of how desperate and fearful I was of living at times in my past. I will simply be driving or sharing with someone and my body starts crying, throat swells, tears well. It's compassion for myself and a PURE feeling of gratitude that just takes over.

Regardless of the forum, World... what's that? It all start at home! Be the change!! My guess is you made others there realize the same thing in their hearts!!

I love your authenticity, Danielle!

You make me laugh the beautiful laugh.

Cool words, thanks