fear management vs. fear leadership

The song of an entrepreneur...
Secretly, I'm afraid we won't raise the money. But it's okay. I can plow through that fear. We'll raise the money, and everything will be okay. We'll raise the money and stand the business up. We'll have to hit our targets, get the customers in the door, run hard with the marketing plan. Yeah, it's scary. What if they don't come? What if they come but don't buy? What if they buy, but not enough? It's okay, I can manage that fear. It'll work. I'll make it work and everything will be okay. We'll do this.

What if you don't do it? What if you, say, "fail"? Does that mean that fear wins? How much do you need to be more than "okay"?

While we're busy managing fear, fear can be managing us. It's still creeping in, grabbing at our pant leg, begging to be paid attention to. And fear can always find a reason to get your attention - that's it's job - to get you to feed it. But what about the flu? (feed me!) But what about the market? (feed me!) But what about ten years from now? (feed me!) But what will they think? (feed me!)

Beyond coping with fear there is fearlessness. Because, here's the white hot truth: if you go bankrupt, you'll still be okay. If you lose the gig, the lover, the house, you'll still be okay. If you sing off key, get beat by the competition, have to hand in the keys, you will still be okay. Ask anyone who's been through it. They're more than okay. People survive and they learn to thrive. It's life. It's business.

Don't manage your fear. Lead your fear. Take charge. When fear climbs on your shoulder and starts nattering in your ear, here's what you do: You stand as a master. You tell Scaredy Cat where you're going, risks and all, and you convert Scaredy into a champion to help you get there. You say, lovingly but firmly (because ultimately the Scaredy Cat in you just wants some love and you've got plenty of it to give,) "Yep, we may fail, it's possible. This is risky shit. But we'll still be okay. Because that's who we are. We're the kind of people that are okay, no matter what. So remember that invincibility and let's get to work. There's a new land to discover and the only way to find it is to keep going - cliffs, cash flow, agony, adulation and all. If you keep your mouth shut and your eyes wide open, we'll get there sooner. We're doing this. We're doing this because we want to. Because this is what it means to do life."

And then watch what Scaredy Cat does. She'll look perplexed for a minute. She'll nuzzle up, as if to say thank you. And then she'll strut down the street to help you recruit some new business.

. . . . . . . .

Vancouver! Nov 28, Gwen Bell Workshop. Be there. We're going to levitate some Mindy Body Tech, I just know it.

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  • You'll be okay, UNLESS you decide you won't. UNLESS you decide the guy (or girl) who left you makes you NOT be okay. UNLESS you decide not getting the job or the contract or the next guy (or girl) defines who you are. You'll be okay, IF you say, "F___ th world, and the situation who got me here. I WILL be okay, because I've got goals that define me. Goals that short-term failure can't defeat." YOU will be okay, as long as you decide that YOU WILL BE OKAY. If this sounds simplistic, well yeah, it is. Except when it's not. Your future is in your hands. No one else can create it for you. You have a reason. Find it. Go for it. The rest of us want to know what it is.
  • i just had a chat with my scaredy cat. i've cleaned her litter box. it's all fresh and clean. and so is our outlook. we're on a mission to kick some creative ass and get the juices flowing over here. deadline is tomorrow. we wished for it. it came true. now to get on with the show!
  • @julie_k
    I've now read this three times. Fear has held me back way too long. I don't know if she's nuzzling but she's definitely put her stilettos on and is fixing her lipstick to get out there and light a fire. Even my fear is tired of sitting on the couch wondering what if.

    rawr
  • well meeeeeow!
  • Hi Danielle-
    since there ARE no coincidences I read this AFTER stepping thru fears all morning, one after the other, with manageable actions. the other option was
    to eat sugar until numb, crawl under covers and hide, or surf web until mind went to mush..... happily moved some big stuff through.
    fear is such a big topic- keep writing!
    love to you-
    xox
    Lisa
    http://www.IntuitiveBody.com
    Breaking The Spell of Overeating:The Results You Crave
  • YES!!
    *Beyond coping with fear there is fearlessness*
    Fear is the scariest thing you may deal with because it is a story told by the person who knows your fears best--YOU. You are so powerful after you've wrassled with fear.
    Here's to ploiwng through to the other side!
    Take Care,
    Jill
  • Sigil
    When you hit it out of the park, you send it 2 counties away. Brash and engaging, and most importantly, right on. One of those few things that everybody needs to read. Everybody. Thanks for putting it out there!
  • Jackie
    THANK YOU FOR THIS.....the timing was perfect :)
  • Patricia
    Wow. I'm not an entrepreneur, but I know all about fear. I am constantly, it seems, pushing way past the boundaries of what I think I *should* be able to do, in work and life. And if I had let Scaredy Cat run the show, I'd have turn tail a long time ago, and I'd have a pretty boring life... But accepting that she's part of the package, bringing her along for the ride because, hey, it IS scary, that's an image I like. And I do love cats... Tucking this one away for a rainy day, that's for sure! Thanks for another brilliant piece.
  • Love the imagery of the Scaredy Cat of fear strutting away once educated. Fear is a big thing. It guides us. It repels us. It makes us shake. It highlights what matters. Thanks for yet another stunning post.
  • Beautiful! This is just perfect. Seriously, the best post you've ever written. I want to take this, and tattoo it on the backs of my eyelids so that it seeps into my subconscious mind while I sleep. Ok, maybe not, because I'm kinda allergic to pain, and that would probably hurt. A lot. So instead, I'm gonna read it again, and then again, and let it seep into my *conscious* mind, and feed my soul.

    You feed my soul, Danielle. I just realized that. What an awesome feeling that is!
  • Ummm. . . . 113 WORDS longer. :)
  • Damn, this is right on the money - and what a great phrase that is - and EXACTLY what I needed to hear right now, having just 2 minutes ago finally said screw it, this article is 113 wods longer than the editor wanted, but those 113 words are fabulous and she would be a fool to tell me to cut it, and then emailing the article to said editor. She pays the $$, so if words must be cut, I will cut, but I think she will love them. Hell, I KNOW she will!
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