are you willing to be toast?: authentic transformation

“Authentic transformation is...not a matter of translating the world but of transforming the world; not a matter of finding solace but of finding infinity on the other side of death. The self is not made content; the self is made toast.”
- Ken Wilber

There have been a few ideas that rocked my world. Krishnamurit’s opinion of discipline {it’ll only stifle your true nature,} the possibility that Jim Morrison might still be alive {I believe, I believe!} and Ken Wilber’s description of authentic transformation.

For much of our lives, we naturally dabble in and actively pursue change. Notions of ego-transcendence. Becoming a better person. Finding new language to communicate the same things we’ve been saying all along. Change dabbling is genuinely progressive. It feeds the spring of our creativity. It keeps us fresh. In this context, “change’ is an evolution of selfhood.

But what Ken baby is talking about is a REVOLUTION of self. And that’s mighty appealing in terms of knowing your white hot truth. Just the mere willingness to be ‘toast’, to be shattered, will expand you to new proportions.

So then the question is, are you willing to transform? ... to give it up; to be the fool, to re-write your story, to not recognize yourself; to believe differently; to be something, someone, you have not yet known? Sounds miraculous.

It’s scary. And exciting. Miracles are like that. Authentic transformation doesn’t necessarily depend on a nirvana experience or a nervous breakdown -- though, hitting rock bottom can be incredibly efficient. It can happen over time with new questions and courageous decisions.

You can start a revolution with a lightning-bolt, or by burning one limiting belief at a time. Are you willing to walk through the fire?

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posted 27 Jan 09 in: White Hot, inspiration + spirituality articles   ·   tags: ,   ·   Comments

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  • Julie Max
    I have an odd fascination with this whole idea. Chaos is the natural end of order, and order can only come from chaos. When we're willing to be broken into a thousand tiny pieces, we gain the incredible power of being able to put those pieces back together in any pattern we choose, and to make that pattern as static or dynamic as we want. If you're in a place that works for you, those bits can all get put right back where they were before you were shattered. If you're not, you have the unique opportunity to rebuild your entire pattern from the ground up.

    Like one of my favorite movie quotes, "Only after disaster can we be resurrected. It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." That's exactly what this describes for me. To get to that place of freedom, we have to be willing to risk it all.
  • there's another zen saying like this that I love: 'now that the barn is burnt down, I can see the moon.'
  • LOVE!
  • TJ
    Not related to this post specifically, but just to your whole blog (which I've been following for only a few weeks)--you are amazing, I love what you write, and thank you for sharing! I look forward to all of your posts and always feel a bit more rockin' and slinky when I read your stuff! Your writing crackles with an energy that most others just don't have.
  • TJ,
    this was perfect to hear today. Thanks for the crackle back.
    oxo
    D
  • Trish Quinn
    Great post.. I call it imploding = bursting inward... thank you for sharing this
  • Jus' Tim
    OK, my own white hot truth is that right now I'm at the voyeuristic stage again where I wanna be willing. I really do! But I also really feel like a chicken***t at heart sometimes and I'd rather sit on the couch, hide under a blanket with some chocolate and listen to Elton John. I do that until the pain of what I'm doing is greater than the perceived pain of doing something new and scary. (always an illusion but it never seems to keep me from going there sometimes) Then I walk through the fire in flair and dramatic fashion just before it consumes me. Cause it will. Willing, or kickin and screamin, I will go there.

    So I'll definitely keep tuning in cause this little corner of the world is such an oasis; this is the kind of place where I can take off my hat and my shoes, plant my feet, and give up giving up. This is a room I can breath in. This is really refreshing, original and hopeful stuff. This inspired me today and what more could I ask for? Big thanks.
  • To this I can give an unequivocal 'Hell YES!' and nod vigorously. I may have come about it from a sideways angle--but I walked through the fire. I laid waste to so many things that tied me down and held me back. And as with a raging inferno, some of what got burned were things that I should have kept. But I'm not even sad about that anymore because like with a forest fire, it made way for fresh green growth. And the things that were supposed to be there came back.

    Thank you. Again. I know who I am. Those who stand beside me and that I can call me family know the Truth too.
  • sophie
    hi danielle. i love the idea of burning one limiting belief at a time, but in it's place adding a slow-burning, smouldering, wonderful one so that by the time i have filled my belief system with irresistible thoughts there will be no gaps left for the ones that drag everything down...i've been there, and it sucks!
  • What really is authentic transformation? It's not a matter of will. If anything, it's a matter of completely releasing will, letting go into absolute not-knowing. Rewriting my story? Oh, no, that's just replacing one story with another.

    What's life without a story? What's it like to live from absolute Truth?
  • When we realize that we are special, unique, and worthy of great accomplishments, we no longer need to reside in history. We can start experiencing today by letting go of any attachments to our past. Forgive, leave the burden behind, allow for positive change.

    Get on with the business of living your life today on your terms. Release yourself from fear by focusing on abundance, gratitude, opportunity and love.

    Shann
  • Will it expand "you" to new proportions or obliterate your sense of separate self? Will you re-write your story or be life without a story? Will you believe differently or will you question all your beliefs? Will you be someone you have not yet known or will you find noone, Nothing?
  • Eric V.
    Scary. We work so hard to define ourselves so we can then be comfortable in the fact that we know ourselves. We are comfortable and happy.

    But, this prevents you from expanding and finding out you really are more than you think you are. It takes guts, stepping into an unknown, leap of faith, etc.

    Isn't this the premise for the hero in most novels? They find out they can become more than they thought. Isn't this when entrepreneurs are made? Great leaders?

    Not easy, but this is how you grow. But we forget so easily when we're happy and comfortable.

    Thank you for shaking it up.
  • I find your writing style really exciting and fresh, it just puts it out there like Bam , here you go. Its great!

    Ive been toast and toasted myself , from breakdown to times of Awe at life. Ive been cutting away at the old self for some time now and I think if we are to make oursleves anew every day ,its a lifelong shift and as you say its a gradual thing. Not always tangible , solid &visual as change like a haircut or clothes, and can creep up on you unawares , like "oh Im reacting very differently to that" , but nevertheless very real and powerful. Im sort of at the purposefully fallen from cliff stage and Im yet to reconcile it all.

    It takes real guts and an almost devil may care attitude to really harness your belief system (if you can tap it) and live it regardles of others around you - & yes Im trying to still find my guts somewere- Intention must set the journey someway in helping us get there?
  • Scott
    I have the will...to be toast.
    I have the will...must repeat that to myself.
  • "will" is a good point. sometimes the dismantling and destruction can be 100% intentional- like jumping off a cliff.
  • MoJo
    Wow. So true. I've done the breakdown route, and the nirvana one, and you're bang on (although it's taken me quite a bit of drama to come to the realization myself) that it can be a subtle shift built upon the stepping stones of intent-packed, concious choices with a dash of non-complacent, mysterious surrender. After years of subconciously manifesting change (just to shake it up) I'm finally getting into the groove of dancing with it every day. R/Evolution is right up there with Truth and Authenticity - like air, fire and water for the soul...
  • "non-complacent, mysterious surrender" I adore you. That's my mantra for the day...maybe my new moon declaration. Here, I'll say it again, it's so good: non-complacent, mysterious surrender. ahhhh.
  • For the longest time I really did believe that Authentic transformation only happend through a nirvana experience or a nervous breakdown. And only now after growing up and experiencing life have I realized that it's natural course happens over time with new questions and courageous decisions and I am enjoying the journey.

    I'm willing to do whatever it takes to experience such a Miracle even if it means being someone I have not yet known. But I'm fearful (not hesitant) that the life around me is ready for such a ride.
  • to re-write your story, to not recognize yourself; to believe differently; to be something, someone, you have not yet known?

    This shakes me up a little I have to admit. I realize I have gotten so attached to my sense of self that I may have been forestalling miracles. Thanks for the nudge!
  • "forestalling miracles" what a great way to look at it. Ahhh...now I'm inspired. What miracles have I been forestalling? Sad, dreamy sigh...
  • Wow. This post really gets to the heart of the matter, Danielle.

    It's easy to talk about change, but much harder to let go of who we think we are. We forget that we have to die before we are reborn, and dying is scary (at least, to me it is).

    But, it's what true change requires. To die to the past, to our history, a thousand ego deaths moment by moment.

    Thanks for this powerful reminder.
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