who’s your support group?

I felt it shelter to speak to you.
- Emily Dickinson

We gather in a group to be witnessed, to be supported, and to be both equalized and elevated in our struggles, gifts and ambitions. Common ground is very fertile ground ... it is, what Emerson calls, “...the common heart of which all sincere conversation is worship.” Where two or more are joined with the same intention, grace intensifies and solutions multiply. Belongingness heals and nourishes with its affirmative recognition that we are not alone. Simultaneously, we are able to experience our unity and our uniqueness.

Who hears you? Whose greatness do you foster in return?

It's essential to have a posse. I have my "Goddesses," five of us who meet almost monthly with one purpose: to tell each other what's really going on in our lives. We're a mismatched gang that began when one woman said, "I'm having a potluck of cool chicas next week, whoever shows up, shows up." It was just the five of us who made it - some of us already friends, some of us new to each other, and it was clear at the end of our first night together that we had to do more of this. And in just two years of homemade soups and desert and other bubbly things, we've gone through life-altering decisions, marriage melt downs, new babies, business epics, world travels, heart wrenching loss, and amazing successes. We would move mountains to help each other. I love knowing that we happened by intention and by serendipity.

Support groups don't have to be your "tribe." You don't need to match, you don't need to have history. You just need one common intention: to support each other. If you don't have that group in place, go make one. There are most definitely other people looking to join.

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  • Your post kind of reminds me that even I have a support group without realizing it! All of my friends meet up for coffee and we're all so different yet we just support each other :)
  • Misty Gibbs
    So true. So true! I hear women say that being an entrepreneur can be lonely. It shouldn't be! Although I do see how hard it can be to establish a posse of people that may be different but gel. What I do know is my inspiration and success I contribute to my great network of friends.

    btw - check out my latest project! http://www.inspirationlounge.tv
  • Natasha L
    I skipped work today to spend a very big morning with my neighbor at his Canadian citizenship ceremony, and then brunch with him, his mother, a friend and an ex. I almost didn't go but so glad I did. How humbling to be included in someone else's posse. I think I've been very selective about "my" posse, and really consider girlfriends and women first as my support, but support really is everywhere - to offer and to accept. I'm thinking I shouldn't be so selective - my mother, my friend, my sister, people I already know...I'm going to try and not be so stingy (and uptight really)...with offering support and accepting it.
  • Emerson Zora Hamsa
    D-- I love you, girl! If I was in Csnada, I would totally try to "be all up-in" your posse. Support is essential; it is on my list of must-haves.

    Have a wonderful weekend!

    Em
  • Eva the Diva (what my posse ca
    I've got my "posse" and I call them that all the time. They are all beautiful (inside and out), successful, intelligent, and supportive. They always give the unbiased truth when giving their opinions (and it's not always what I want to hear) but I always know it's in my best interest. Some of them are closer to me than my family. I never had a group of friends like this before I turned 40. I had no idea what I was missing. My suggestion to young women....."don't let the men/partner in your lives be your only interest or the only friend in your lives." I can't say that with enough furver.
  • hey Diva, this brings up a good point about the 'over 40' thing. At one point in my life I'd felt like I'd met all of the soul-sisters I was going to meet - as if I'd reached my quota in terms of the good fortune life hands out. My core circle of best girlfriends is so incredible and cosmic and rock solid I thought it just couldn't get any better. And, those sisters remain my deepest and true bluest for now and ever more, but something recently clicked - life, love...it's unlimited. And the new friends...they're like spring to me - fresh and surprising.
  • This is what I've gotta find. Hope to have better luck in my new neighborhood!
  • I've found that even the action of trying to create a group - even if it doesn't gel, always has big rewards. Good luck in teh new 'hood!
    xo
  • True, true.

    I'm hoping to start a knitting circle at a coffee shop in the new 'hood. At least, I'll show up and knit!

    Psst - you can now look through my book on amazon! http://www.amazon.com/Knit-Together-Patterns-In...
  • I would suggest starting by offering your genuine support to others without expectation of anything in return. I do believe you'll find that draws other like minded people to you, who may not have had anything to do with your own act of unconditional giving.

    I have a number of people I can call on to support me. Most of them are unrelated to the others. All of them are people whom I know will, and have, gone to the wall for and with me. And I would do the same for them.
  • Both Suzi and I loved the question" who is your tribe" that you posed in Style Statement- WE are proud to say our tribe is a bunch of strong beautiful women who totally have my back in crisis and in celebration- What a gift! Sarah and Suzi
  • My girlfriends and I meet once a month for Mom's Night Out--where we're free to whine, complain, and get support from one another. (We discuss the good stuff, too.) When we (eventually) move, I'm going to be very sad about leaving this group of friends.
  • timely. That's a big challenge living in a new city - locating my tribe. Confounded by being somewhat introverted. Lunch today with a couple of, hopefully, like-minded women. Hauling out and dusting off my social skills - deep breaths.
  • Emily-Sarah
    Powerful. Beautiful. True, every bit of it. I need to insist on a "regularly scheduled time" for such a happening. We need to treat such an event as the uber priority it is and mark off that sacred time on our calendar in ink.
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