eat your mistakes whole

“There’s no such thing as a mistake.” Ha!

This is one of my favourite New Age doozers. Puhleez. Like, getting hosed because you didn’t get it in writing wasn’t a major drag. And spilling your friend’s secret to the wrong person burnt that bridge to a crisp. Or not saying “yes!” to the one that got away - well, THAT sucked. There are such things as mistakes. Major eff-ups and human stupidity happens to the best of us. The rest of us are in denial.

And yes, yes, mistakes are positively divine, each one moves us forward - even the ones that flip your world upside down. I’ve never made a mistake that I didn’t learn to love. But before we spiritualize and shellac the error of our ways, it’s incredibly useful to put our faux pas under the microscope. It’s liberating. It’s grown up. It’s dignified. And best of all, once you see your mistakes for what they are - you are more certain to good and truly move on!

Give it a go: Admit to your mistakes. Just admit it. No one else is listening. Make a pathetic, grizzly list of all the “sooo should not have’s” in your life. Don’t resist it. Clean house!
(I'll go first: should not have done a 50/50 deal with X, should not have shared the news that G's wife was having an affair with his...sister, should not have struck a "creative control" deal with last publisher, should not have gotten B's name tattooed on my ass.)

I wager that rather than feeling grossed out, you might get kind of giddy - eventually. You could feel the rush of knowing better, the delight of being the wiser for your wear. A subtle sense of compassion may start wafting into your being. Okay, maybe you still feel like a total dork. But find solace in your maturity. Because it takes courage to look your life squarely in the eye and admit your humanity. Humility clears the path to higher knowing...or a good laugh.

←   read all current inspiration articles

  • This works. Thank you! I love it.
  • Some mistakes I learn from; some I use as practice in letting go and forgiving myself. Some just suck and stay with you forever. I'd rather focus on not shoulding all over myself than on mistakes I can't learn from.
  • Facing my mistakes has been hard. My mistake is not taking action quickly enough. I feel the need to make everything perfect so I don't eff up, but then end up taking no action at all. The only way I will grow is by putting myself out there and make mistakes then getting giddy about them because I know how to fix them.
  • Oh yes one step at a time out of the morass called "learning moment" bluchh... I call them navigational wake ups, appear when I am sleepwalking through life and just chilling in my complacency.. like the one I am staring right in the face at today.... YEP it was ME, all by myself, I did it.. wasn't I clever to manage this one on my own?
  • Oh Boy! I love YOUR list! Funny! (in retrospect and with an alcoholic beverage, no doubt).

    I have a hard time viewing my mistakes as such, simply because, looking back at them, they look and feel more like really valuable course adjustments to me. Where would I be, for example, if I was still married to that man who thought that cheating on me with another woman was a good idea? I shudder at the thought.
  • Love the idea of writing the mistakes down and bidding them farewell. I will let you know how it feels after I have done it.
  • @julie_k
    right on. I have a tendency to dwell on "what I have done, and what I have failed to do" as we used to say in mass. It's been a giant set of burning brakes on the last few years of life.

    Going to write mine down, read them out loud, wish them the best and throw them into the fireplace.
  • Totally had this conversation with someone just yesterday! Love it. Well, really I hate it, because my stomach feels like a washing machine when I think about looking my mistakes right in the eye... But really, how liberating to do it, to be gut-wrenchingly honest, then to laugh because those mistakes can't haunt you any longer. Thanks for writing this out. Well put.
  • KIM
    Oh please please please post a pic of your tattooed ass ... it will very clearly delineate your point and I think it will just bloody make everyone's day :)
  • well...the boy tat got covered up with something else...hhmmm...let me meditate on the future of my ass visage and I'll get back to you.
  • It's a hard thing to do especially if you mean it! Recently I have started seeing things for what they are and realising my mistakes more often rather than trying to twist things and make them look right.
    We all make mistake, blunders and errors and usually they are not too costly so long as we move on, learn from them and apply what we have learnt....

    Awesome post as usual, short and sweet!
  • Hey Danielle,

    You're right on! I learn from my mis-takes too by taking a closer look! Life-as-a-movie-set usually offers me the chance to "take" it over, say with an apology or a major/minor tweak. If I truly think I've flubbed up, I try to "take" it a different way. Instead of beating myself up, these days I get pumped to look for the next "take."

    As far as a list of blunders goes, most of my mis-takes came from not facing as you so aptly call your blog, "The White Hot Truth." Thx!
  • I could not agree more! "There's no such thing as mistakes." That's just not true. (I'd take a teensy bit of time and say, "Ok. I shouldn't have signed that deal with that person." and dig in to see what I could do better next time, learning the lesson so as not to repeat it.)

    As for me and my mistakes? Sure. I've been around long enough that the list is pretty long. ;-)
    All the best!
    deb
  • How does that saying go...something about "to err is human..."? Mistakes are what make us human. Without them, what are we?
  • You're so right, Danielle. There is somewhere between beating oneself up constantly becausee of the f-ups one has made, and floating about in cloud cuckoo land denying the existence of aforementioned f-ups.
    LEARNING from them, now that something different.
    And I agree - humility rocks; stick it next to excellence and you've got a totally sexy combo!
    :-)
  • humility + excellence = sexy. Love it!
blog comments powered by Disqus