take the style self-exam

 
 

I once worked with a branding client who had a closet full of clothes fit for a hooker. Purple animal prints, a sequin skirt (with the price tag still on it,) lacey, itty-bitty things. Yet, she told me that her ideal outfit was a crisp white shirt, straight-legged jeans and a single strand of pearls. "I could wear that everyday," she pined. "You know, Jackie O with a twist." Uh...huh.

So I raised my eyebrows and held up a red leather vest. "Yeah...not very Jackie." She admitted. "So what's going through your mind when you're shopping?" I asked. "Really put yourself in the scene. You're standing at the clothing rack and the day-glo leopard print says exactly what to you?" Her eyes widened. "It says to me: 'Your mother would hate this. Buy it!'" she blurted out.

Et voila! Mystery solved.

As it turned out, when she was growing up her mother dictated what was proper and not-so proper to wear. And even though she was now a grown up in her own big house with her own big job, her fashion decisions were based on little unconscious ways to rebel against her conservative mommy.

THE POWER OF PREFERENCES
Our preferences define us, yet we rarely think twice about why we're actually attracted to something. "I like it, I want it, I need it, I gotta have it." But, why? Our personal fashion choices are often the most unexamined parts of our lives.

A Minute With The Style Shrink
So tell me...

Why do you buy what you buy? Do a mental scan of your wardrobe. Think of the your most recent purchases, or your most-worn pieces, or the regrettables collecting dust in your closet. What motivated those choices? Were you feeling...elation? Rebellion? The deep craving to belong? The drive to appear powerful? Sentimental for the past? Sweet, sensual inklings? At one with the style gods?

Who do you take shopping with you? Not literally, but, psychically. Do you have your own what-not-to-wear committee on your shoulder? Are your inner style advisers jeering at you or cheering you on?

Do your clothes feel like friends or foe? Do you have to psyche yourself up to get into that navy suit that sucks the innovative thinking right out of you? Or do you look at that linen tunic and think, "Ahh, old friend, we work so well together?"

Every choice is an expression of what we believe. On a daily basis, we make material and aesthetic choices that tell our story. Bold. Understated. Glam. Earthy. We are constantly showing the world who we are -- or who we think we are. And the world responds accordingly.

When you know the motivation behind your choices, you can make choices that support your authentic self -- decisions that free you, rather than restrict you. When it comes to genuine style, one size does not fit all.

join the convoposted 13 Mar 09 in: fashion + beauty articles   ·   tags:   ·   View Comments

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  • Oh wow -- the cheapies. That's totally me, and reading this just now made me realize it. My concept of what an appropriate amount to spend on clothes is hasn't changed much since my minimum-wage-slave days, never mind clothes that fit well and look great. Thanks for the realization.
  • Darin Persinger
    In another life I was a sponsored wakeboarder. So I had the surfer/wakeboarder style in full force, plus all my clothes were given to me for FREE. As I transitioned into a more Grown Up career I had and still have a hard time of letting go of that style. After hours, I'm still dressing in Volcom, Quiksilver and Split. I learned though that dressing in MY style was selfish. And if I had the attitude, "Oh well if people don't like the way I dress and judge me I don't want to work with them", then really why would anyone want to work with ME? What a selfish attitude and they should have every right to think that I would be selfish in other areas of my life as well. First impressions do matter!
  • My Aunt & my Mom had a falling out, so when we saw her for the first time in 5+ years, we were shocked to see an ENORMOUS fairy tattoo that went from her ankle up to her knee. When we asked what made her get that at the ripe age of 45+, she answered, "I'm still rebelling against my Mother!" Unfortunately, she was the one that was left with the huge tattoo - not my Nana!
  • My personal issue is...clothes must feel like my favorite soft blankie, I'm a tactile girl, I call my wardrobe 'the Emporer's new clothes' bc it's a must that I feel as close to being naked (or in eternal softness) as possible...my style is a knowing of what looks and feels good on my extra long body : )
  • This is a good one, I rep a line of women's designer clothing and I am constantly in awe of women and how the decide what to buy, what size looks good on them, I usually say something like, 'and you want to buy a large when you're really clearly a medium, why now?' bc your logic also very much applies to body image a healthy one or a lack thereof...maybe I'm amazed at the way I help them see themselves as they are instead of how they see themselves (with a very critical eye, unfortunately). I wish women would appreciate and honor their bodies more...better clothing choices or even just wearing the old b'day suit would FEEL so much nicer...
  • This is a great mental pep talk, thanks. I tend to go for the cheepies AND what looks good on other people. If someone else looks fabulous in something I mistakenly think it's the top-not the fact that they are rocking the top. Almost finished my style statement and looking forward to making more conscious "me" choices!
  • When I'm shopping, I have to fight "the cheapies" -- an almost overwhelming urge to only buy the biggest bargains. Lately, I've been challenging the cheapies by really paying attention to the "Oh wow!s" In the past year, I've bought two things that made me go "Oh wow!" -- they were both a bit more expensive than I would normally buy, but I wear them both regularly, feel great in them, and get complements. I can barely remember anything else I've bought this year (thought I can assure you I got great deals!! ...or did I, if I can't even remember?)

    I've been working at the reverse of this in my closet. I keep a big gorgeous shopping bag on the floor of my closet. If anything I put on doesn't fit, or itches, or pulls funny, or just doesn't feel right - poof, it goes in the bag. When the bag is full, I transfer it to a big garbage bag and give it to the Lupus people who come around. Slowly but surely, I'm seeing some breathing room, and also some direction in my closet.
  • I STILL fight off the cheapies! Quality...I am QUALITY...that's my latest shopping mantra.
  • Alison
    This is something I have a really hard time with. I tend to buy clothing with a defeated, "well it looks good on me, so I might as well buy it" instead of because I genuinely like what I am trying on.

    For example, I accidentally left an entire laundry basket of my clothes at a laundromat. It's been almost three months and I still haven't figured out what was in that basket. It's sad that I'm so unattached to the things I wear.

    I'm definitely going to start asking myself these questions when I'm out shopping for clothes.
  • Emily-Sarah
    "Every choice is an expression of what we believe. On a daily basis, we make material and aesthetic choices that tell our story." LOVE THIS. Another simply profound truth.
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