we know you’re busy. now shut up about it.

Great point Danielle, when I step back and look at it, I am constantly telling people sorry for answering their emails 4 or 6 days later. Living on the opposite side of the globe from many clients, plus add in running a business, blogging, events & volunteer work and that makes for one very busy Cody! :)

Anyway, I should stop apologizing and just re-frame people's expectations. Wish I didn't have so many of those well-meaning (yet frustrating) folks "double checking if you got their email from yesterday" as you say. I think our culture has this unhealthy addiction to instant gratification in communication.

All too true, being busy is an opt-out excuse. Sadly with kids too, we get busy on all the wrong things. I work from home and thought just being around my little boy would be enough until I found a hand written note in my bag. He wrote… mommy you always work, it makes me sad. Although I am busy, I am now never too busy for him.

This post will be a wake-up slap in the face for a lot of folk, but I try not to forget that many people get overwhelmed without realising it and start to use the word "busy" when they mean overwhelmed or feeling like they're on a treadmill they're scared they can't get off.

I completely agree that we're all responsible for exactly where we are, and that our lives are the sum total of our choices, but I also know that undiagnosed illness and low grade chronic depression can fog the lens and clog the filter for a lot of folk, too. I agree with you that we need to be honest - I tend to be - but a lot of folk find it difficult to say "I've deprioritised you because I like other people and other activities more than you."

Great piece! It really got me thinking.

Love, Love, LOVE this post. An excellent (as ever) reminder that we are always in choice. Saying yes to some things means we need to say no to others. Like being on time, or getting rest.

Excuses bore me too: http://bit.ly/fvSJ4

Thanks for the truth...you shine!

So weird...I was just thinking last week that I should do a blog post about this. It annoys the hell out of me when people use that excuse...

I heartily agree with this post, and have been guilty of the busy comment when I am, as Janice so aptly put it, feeling overwhelmed. Not allowing myself the busy excuse is another good way to not let myself get overwhelmed in the first place, and if I do, to simply call it what it is. Excellent.

Uber bang on. Thank you D.
Just figuring out where I can print and post this to keep my compass powerfully pointed on where I choose to be.

The "victim" comment really hits home and I realize how often I relish in that status with certain family memebers so they will either back away or support me. Pathetic!

My other favorite is, "Oh I'm so sorry it took me 3 weeks to respond to your text message. Things have just been so crazy here."

Makes my skin crawl.

Life is a buffet. Finish the first plate before getting the next!

So its either "I'm busy" turned out to be poor time management or they (not referring to anyone of us here smiles) happen to be a greedy bunch who grabs 3 plates (or more) and can't finish 'em.

That aside, oh! I'm kinda a person who'd run late in the mornings -- 1st meetings -- (legendary). I'd let those who're meeting me know this "bad habit" way in advance for any scheduled meet-ups, and on the morning itself send out an update once I'm getting ready to make my move. No fluff needed. :)

"Sorry, I've been busy," has a little victim ring to it.

As it did for Pearl, this shook up my bones. I refuse to be a victim of my own life. I don't think I'll ever use the word "busy" again without really thinking about it. THANK YOU!!!

yes! someone so desperately needed to write just this!

And how strangely boring to hear the "I'm busy" one-up-man-ship banter, in the form of "How are you?" "I'm busy, how about you?" "Oh, you wouldn't believe how busy I am," as if the most busy one wins!

I love what you're saying about owning our choices. "Busy" is an excuse, something we hide behind as though it makes us unique. I agree that we should acknowledge that we haven't responded/called back because we chose not to. We decided that other things were more important. We made other things a priority. I think if people think about their choices this way, they might respond to emails/phone calls/texts in a completely different way. When we know what our core values are, we act on putting them first, not on responding to the person who screams the loudest.

Thank you for writing this. I know what to write in my post for today now.

Man, I really want to read this, but I am too busy right now!

Just kidding.

The greatest thing to ask about the "busy" you are doing is whether it is productive "busy" or unproductive "busy". We are overwhelmed with inputs today: Twitter, Blogs, RSS, TV, etc. A lot of the "busy" that people refer to, I feel, is a combination of distraction, obsession, and procrastination.

The modern social interaction online through mobile devices, instant "status updates", and apparent urgency through email leads to a lot of absorption with little distribution. Screening emails, putting down the Blackberry, and limiting unnecessary distracting inputs will free up a lot of "busy" time and leave you with a lot of productive time.

Get busy getting un-busy

Absolutely nailed it! Thank you for this, and the great comments!

Years ago I read an interview with one of my favorite writers, Elmore Leonard. He explained how he wrote many of his early books while he was working full time. He kept the manuscript in a drawer and whenever he had a few minutes, he'd pull it out and add something. He summed it up with something like: "If you really want to do something, you'll find the time to do it."

That one sentence has helped me stay on track better than anything.

ouch. stings a little, that truth, but i love it. recently started reading your posts and i love the rawness. great post, thanks for not being too busy, too crazy, to whelmed to share.

Boy do I feel guilty - I'm often the guy apologizing and saying how busy I've been. After reading this, there's no doubt it's just a sad, sorry-ass excuse. No more - if I'm being a slacker, I'll just say it, and not blame my being busy.

Love it, Danielle. I laughed and got a lighter perspective reading about eating life whole. Yup, that's what gets me there ever time.

So true - this has long been a lament of mine as well. Another disturbing facet to this trend is when you ask someone how they are, and their reply is "busy." So "busy", apparently, is right up there with excited, happy, depressed, etc - on par with how we feel - terrifying!

Nice article. One nit:

"Before eco-evil but ever-so-handy tools like disposable diapers, the Swifer and microwaves"

A little FYI -- microwaves are eco-friendly -- they are the MOST energy efficient way of heating anything with water in it. The only means of cooking that is more eco friendly is a solar cooker. Next time you cook, observe all the waste heat generated. A microwave wastes next to nothing. 2c

If white is the new black and green the new pink - then is "I'm busy" the new FU?

so timely for me...thank you....the part where you say "Report on life, rather than whining about it." I have been noticing lately how often I don't do this....

I just came across your blog today and I want to thank you. You are my new inspiration and guide. I can't wait to read back through the rests of your posts!

It's my first time to your site and I love it!

This post was awesome! Until I got conscious of using that statement I like everyone else, used it as the perfect excuse.

Today no more. While I may still say it here and there out of a momentary unconsciousness or because I chose to say it for whatever reason, busy just does not appeal to me anymore.

Like you said, if we are busy it is because we are the ones who said "yes" to all those things that are making us so.

That is why today I love a life based on accountability. Much more fun this way :)

I like how you're so frank about saying what you think. It's true though - how people make excuses when they're busy. But everybody has a life so everybody is technically busy with his or her own life. It's just up to you to deal with whatever you do with your life. Looking forward to reading more interesting posts like this!

I, too, just found your site after a friend Tweeted this particular post. I like your style, humor and honest framing. This topic speaks volumes to me and I will send it to my 4 sisters, and 4 brothers all who are always "too busy" for connectedness, regardless of our distance. Also, I have organizing clients who need a dose of this reality, and I will be taking my measured spoonful too.

I AM busy (as are we all, I know), and I tell people "I was busy" when I don't want to go into detail. I don't necessarily want everybody to know exactly what I've been doing, nor do they all want to know.

So I do tell people "I'm sorry, I've been busy." because it's true.

My current task is simplifying my life so that I am less busy.

I find this very true and eye-opening. I also have to add that some of the busiest people I know never actually say that they're 'busy'. My sister has a super jam-packed life and schedule, yet she is the one who manages to make the most time for others. Perhaps 'busy' may be just another way to say 'disorganized' or 'unfocused'. It also my just be a safe way to tell others that they're not priorities in your life.

This was such a wake-up call to me. I've been slammed by school and work and business and side projects and you're right. I don't HAVE to do ANY of these things. I choose to.

Actually it gives me a sense of freedom to know I DO have the power to drop something if I need to. And I have.

I heard a great line from a business development conference last year: "When you think you just don't have enough time, remember that greats like Lincoln and Einstein had the same 24 hours/day."

Definitely puts it in perspective.

Dead on. I love choosing to be busy! The note to my 20yr old self (great post btw) might be "Kudos to you- you were much more skilled at balancing your serious and playful side and recognizing you enjoy the busyness than you are in your 30's ...I've learned a lot by reflecting back on you- oh, and beach vacations are now mandatory". I vow to never despair at my busyness again! thanks for the reminder;) "Design your own day"!

i love this post so much. i am so glad you put this out there. now if only everyone in the world would read it and shut up about their busyness. enough already.